Sunday, February 18, 2024

All's Well That Ends Well

Epona is back to normal. She was still stocked up yesterday, but there wasn't any heat in it, so I let her stay out with the herd and today her leg is back to normal.


I haven't seen her lay back down in the loafing shed, but it is safe for her now, when she's ready  

It has made me think about our travel plans and how to prepare for emergencies like what happened to Epona, should we be away when they happen. I'm going to call my vet and see if there is a company that specializes in extractions or difficult situations. 

You probably all remember that my former horse, Cowboy, was an orphan foal. We were told that his mother got her head stuck in a feeder and broke her neck when he was one month old. You just never know what might happen.


Winter sure slows us down and pushes us into new adventures. On our way home from Sedona, I watched a free movie on the plane, Anchorman. It was very stupid, and I slept through most of it, but there was a part where he plays the flute like a crazy man and shoots flames out of the end. I had been a flute player, a flautist, from 4th grade to 12th grade. It was just band, but the foundation never went away. When we got home, one of our granddaughters had come up for the weekend, and she was playing her flute, then the piano, then her flute, then the piano. I thought to myself that I had put too much time and effort into the flute to never play it again. So, I bought a new one. My fingering is still good, but I sound awful in the high registers. It's going to take a bit to get it back.

I'm trying out a subscription to the website Tom Play. It has sheet music for almost any instrument, and it scrolls through the music, while also playing an accompaniment. It's really fun, especially since a flute is such a lonely, yet melodious instrument. Playing in band all those years was collaborative and fun, but playing alone doesn't have the same bang. Plus, you just learn faster playing with others, or an accompaniment. I think I can also use it for piano and guitar.


I think I wrote last year about my interest in Ash Wednesday. My dad went into hospice on 2/22/22, Ash Wednesday. That was the last day we ever spoke to him again. He passed on 3/2/22, which was the date for Ash Wednesday 2023. 3/2/23. Well, at the time we looked ahead and saw that in 2024, Ash Wednesday would fall on my daughter's birthday. It seemed so long away, and her life was so positive and shiny, but it did concern me. 

Fast forward and, indeed, she has gone through something a lot like a death process since June. Was it some kind of foreshadowing from the heavens? Something that predates time, because it’s not bound by time? A message? A warning?

I think so.

It was a reminder about how everything is connected. I don't know how. I don't know why, but it is.

When we were in Sedona and attended mass at the Chapel of the Holy Cross, Father Ignatius Mazanowski gave a homily that included, among other things, the topic of bitterness and forgiveness. He had also written a book on the topic, which I purchased before I left.

It has been of great interest to me, and the spiritual gift that I'm seeking during Lent is forgiveness.

Not the kind that says, I forgive you, but should you die of natural causes, I won't be sad, and in fact, it would be karma. 

No, I'm seeking the kind that says, I don't have any right to judge you. I am no better than you, and maybe even worse. People don't choose to blow up their lives and hurt other people unless they are hurting. They might be wounded and suffering in ways that we never know on this earth, but only in some other realm, a place beyond bitterness and losing. But it doesn't matter, because I am not meant to stand judge over anyone else. 

That’s the kind of forgiveness I seek. The only true kind. Anything less is not forgiveness at all. And the closer I get to this great gift of forgiveness, the freer I feel. 

What it comes down to is that we really have no other choice except to experience the sadness, let time heal our hearts, know that some things are beyond our understanding, and embrace the joy and wonder that comes from rebuilding what is broken. 

My son was over on Friday, with his family, and he asked me what I'm giving up for Lent. We're not Catholic, so I was surprised he wanted to honor it. We spoke about what it means to us, and then we each decided to give something up for the next 40 days. We're not giving up the same thing, but what we felt was appropriate for each of our lives.

Lent Season: February 14, 2024-March 28, 2024

Happy Lent'ing!


4 comments:

  1. I am so glad Epona is all recovered. What a stressful situation that was.
    As you know, I am Catholic, and true forgiveness is a big part of my faith. We just had a family drama week that required a lot of forgiveness of the kind you mention in this quote: "I don't have any right to judge you. I am no better than you, and maybe even worse. People don't choose to blow up their lives and hurt other people unless they are hurting. They might be wounded and suffering in ways that we never know on this earth, but only in some other realm, a place beyond bitterness and losing. But it doesn't matter, because I am not meant to stand judge over anyone else. " so this is a very timely post for me.
    Forgiveness also is important for ourselves- we have to forgive ourselves for all the harm and hurt we have done to others, and use it to change ourselves for the better. As Jesus said, "Love one another as I have loved you".
    Death doesn't scare me, although it is accompanied by so much grief and emotion; having been in the presence of loved ones who died I see it as a release from this life to our eternal life, and it's up to us to make the choices in life that end up with our eternal destination in the best place.
    My Lenten gift to God is giving up complaining, even about little things like weather, or minor annoyances. And I hope to carry that into the rest of my life!

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    1. Giving up complaining? That would be tough for me! A worthy goal, for sure. We like to say it could always be worse, and that is usually true. You are right about self-forgiveness. He spoke of that, too, and it's a vital part of the whole process.

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  2. So happy that Epona is back to herself! After the recent accident, can't blame the girl for being wary. There is a program offered in our area that trains for livestock rescue. I think anyone can take it, not just professionals. They have special extraction equipment. My guess is your Fire & Rescue has similar.

    It is interesting how special occurrences coincide. It sure makes this person wonder...

    As for lent, I am a bad Catholic. Much to my mothers dismay. Both of our parents are devoted. Religious practice was required when I was growing up. It turned me off. I could go on for hours. Consequently, I found my own belief.

    I have not practiced lent as an adult, although I almost did this year. I stumbled across a podcast that captured my attention on 2/14. It was a Presbyterian pastor who recently wrote a bird book and also offers a related birding lent practice. Made total sense to me. Wish I had taken note of her name. There are others doing similar, but this woman was different. She resonated with me. I was so moved and was going to blog about it, then got busy. It happens.

    For me, forgiveness goes hand-in-hand with letting go. Releasing. Let's just say I am working on it.

    Completely agree, there is joy to be found in rebuilding what is broken.


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    1. I remember your word, release. That's a second by second task sometimes. True forgiveness does provide release, and it is freeing. However, I have noticed that unforgiveness can be triggered, even after forgiveness. So, we release, than we grab it back for some reason. I think, as long as we're living, there is a part of us that wants to be protective, and part of not releasing or unforgiveness is self-protection gone awry.

      I'd like to hear that podcase if you find it again!

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