"We need a teacher to show us how to see ourselves--not just with heightened objectivity but also with greater forgiveness."
I've been reading the book Zen Mind, Zen Horse: The Science and Spirituality of Working With Horses, and I'm really loving it. And, you know how it is when you love a book--you want to share it with all your friends! That is probably not possible, but I'd at least like to share it with someone. So, I'm going to draw a name for anyone who is interested in having it.
Like Teresa over at Journey With a Dancing Horse, I'd like to request you do something to enter--just for the fun of it.
1. In the comments, share a personal struggle a horse (or horses) helped you overcome.
For me, there have been many, but the most poignant is a time in my life where I was feeling particularly weak. Can you imagine how a shadow might feel--dark, empty, half-there, quickly vanished--that pretty much describes how I felt. Divorce, melanoma, three young kids, one of which was an angry young kid--hey, even 9/11--all happened simultaneously. I don't want to get too melodramatic about it, but suffice to say, I was stressed and fearful. I saw myself as damaged goods, and DG's aren't good about sticking up for themselves.
My teachers were Red, Cowboy, & a mustang named FLASH! Flash really bonded with me at first, but she was a tough, alpha mare, and after a while she got fed up with my lack of assertiveness--or CHI (in the book)--and she started chasing me out of the round-pen--front hooves striking away. I tried to meet the challenge, but it just wasn't in me at that time, so I sold her.
**After thinking about this post, I want to add this on. It was as if Flash was trying to slap me out of my funk. I have some regret about selling her. She was still at my barn and whenever I'd walk past her turnout, she'd come to greet me as if she was confused at why I'd pushed her away. That choice was part of my weakness. I would never make that choice today.
Enter Cowboy.
Cowboy had a colored past--orphaned at 1 month, passed from owner to owner, & mishandled by his second owner. He was also fearful, but his survival technique was to bully. He probably saw an easy target with me. But I fell in love with him and no matter what bad thing he did, I just couldn't give up. I hired a trainer, I read books, and I kept confronting my fears of him every day. Even then, I knew my fears were less about him and more about the world itself. Giving up on Cowboy would have been like giving up on life. Cowboy always gave me his heart--even when he gave me the finger. There was something extra that drew me back to him.
There was no magic moment where I thought, Oh, I feel strong now, but at some point, years down the road, I did. Each obstacle we overcame together, each ride alone, just him and me, out in Hells Canyon--it added up like strength points. Getting through his P3 fracture and year of rehabilitation--not knowing if he'd live or die--he was a GREAT teacher. I chose the quote above because it is so true--he also taught me to forgive myself. There are no perfect horses or perfect humans--there are just horses and humans--there is dedication, trust, respect, forgiveness, hope, and love. And, there is JOY! Cowboy has been in my life for 13 amazing years. I hope there are many more.
********
I had my lesson with Leah today. It had been a month and half since our last. She was very fat. But man was she sweet! She trailered up perfectly & at the barn she gave me her attention and her try. So much try! The time off was a good thing. It allowed her to choose to partner with me. I was very grateful for that.
Happy 4th of July! And don't forget to leave a comment!
Like Teresa over at Journey With a Dancing Horse, I'd like to request you do something to enter--just for the fun of it.
1. In the comments, share a personal struggle a horse (or horses) helped you overcome.
For me, there have been many, but the most poignant is a time in my life where I was feeling particularly weak. Can you imagine how a shadow might feel--dark, empty, half-there, quickly vanished--that pretty much describes how I felt. Divorce, melanoma, three young kids, one of which was an angry young kid--hey, even 9/11--all happened simultaneously. I don't want to get too melodramatic about it, but suffice to say, I was stressed and fearful. I saw myself as damaged goods, and DG's aren't good about sticking up for themselves.
My teachers were Red, Cowboy, & a mustang named FLASH! Flash really bonded with me at first, but she was a tough, alpha mare, and after a while she got fed up with my lack of assertiveness--or CHI (in the book)--and she started chasing me out of the round-pen--front hooves striking away. I tried to meet the challenge, but it just wasn't in me at that time, so I sold her.
**After thinking about this post, I want to add this on. It was as if Flash was trying to slap me out of my funk. I have some regret about selling her. She was still at my barn and whenever I'd walk past her turnout, she'd come to greet me as if she was confused at why I'd pushed her away. That choice was part of my weakness. I would never make that choice today.
Enter Cowboy.
Cowboy had a colored past--orphaned at 1 month, passed from owner to owner, & mishandled by his second owner. He was also fearful, but his survival technique was to bully. He probably saw an easy target with me. But I fell in love with him and no matter what bad thing he did, I just couldn't give up. I hired a trainer, I read books, and I kept confronting my fears of him every day. Even then, I knew my fears were less about him and more about the world itself. Giving up on Cowboy would have been like giving up on life. Cowboy always gave me his heart--even when he gave me the finger. There was something extra that drew me back to him.
There was no magic moment where I thought, Oh, I feel strong now, but at some point, years down the road, I did. Each obstacle we overcame together, each ride alone, just him and me, out in Hells Canyon--it added up like strength points. Getting through his P3 fracture and year of rehabilitation--not knowing if he'd live or die--he was a GREAT teacher. I chose the quote above because it is so true--he also taught me to forgive myself. There are no perfect horses or perfect humans--there are just horses and humans--there is dedication, trust, respect, forgiveness, hope, and love. And, there is JOY! Cowboy has been in my life for 13 amazing years. I hope there are many more.
********
I had my lesson with Leah today. It had been a month and half since our last. She was very fat. But man was she sweet! She trailered up perfectly & at the barn she gave me her attention and her try. So much try! The time off was a good thing. It allowed her to choose to partner with me. I was very grateful for that.
Happy 4th of July! And don't forget to leave a comment!