Doormat Energy

 

Respect

Strive to be someone your horse respects and wants to be with. This means you're predictable, consistent, congruent, fair, and fun to be around. And you have a clear intention of what you want him to do. Of course, you must maintain safe boundaries, which at times might look like dominance or even aggression, but your attitude should always be one of soft strength. (Sacred Spaces, p. 153)

Yesterday I hit my first brick wall with bodywork. Tweed would start to relax, but then he’d shoot his head up, try to grab the rope, or even walk away. 

My mind went to all the issues that could have been affecting Tumbleweed: pain, weather change, scary hobgoblins of nighttime visitors, boredom, herd issues. 

But then my mind shifted to me. What kind of energy did I bring to our time together? (Thank you Sacred Spaces.)

Well, I received a phone call as I was walking out the door. I stupidly answered it and began to multi-task. The call was from a person to whom I always shift my energy to that of a doormat. The two of us have butted heads in the past, and to keep that from happening again, I lower my energy to almost zero. It was a pleasant’ish conversation but the person was pushing on me to make a decision I did not want to make. It was a small thing, and I ended up standing my ground, but there’s no doubt it affected me. 

The conversation was still happening as I approached and haltered Tumbleweed. (Who, by the way, did not come to me, but also did not walk away.)

Looking back, it is clear as day that Tumbleweed and I re-enacted that phone conversation. If that phone conversation had been playing as background music to that taped session, it would have overlapped perfectly. 

At some point in that mess of a bodywork session, I decided I was doing more harm than good, and took him for a walk, where he proceeded to tune me out and walk all over me. 

When you’re doing bodywork, your corrections should be consistent, but soft. For example, if you place your hand on their muzzle and they jerk their head away, you should go with them and keep the hand in place until they settle, then remove it. You can back the pressure off by using the back of your hand or even your hand slightly above the spot, but not actually touching. 

During the walk, however, I was able to more aggressively meet his energy and back him off me. I reset the boundaries, then returned to the same place and continued the bodywork. He did much better and I ended it and went to the arena. 

Did I mention I had planned to ride that day, too? That didn’t happen, but I’m sure part of my energy had shifted, just in anticipation of it. 

This quote sums up why I changed my plans:

Pushing a horse past his point of resistance and keeping him there for an extended period of time builds resentment. You begin having an argument that one or the other of you have to win. You are no longer having a conversation. Disagreements are part of conversation, arguments are not. (Sacred Spaces, p. 166)

Some of that resistance from the bodywork showed up in his transitions. He’d snort and toss his head from trot to canter. I hadn’t seen any resistance the last couple of weeks, so even though it was small, it was a noticeable change.

We did get to softness, and that is where I ended it. 

When I put him back in the turnout, he left me, but then turned and watched me walk all the way back to the house. We were both processing what had just happened. 

I picked up the book, Sacred Spaces, and began to re-read sections I’d highlighted. 

Being aware of, and responsible for, the energy you are emitting is something you have complete control over. (P 118)

I did stop myself and assess my energy, so that’s an improvement. I’m reflecting back on it now. Also an improvement. That’s the best I can do as I learn to consider how my thoughts and energy are affecting our relationship. 

Horses don’t like people who are incongruent. They often do things to expose the “true” person behind the curtain. (P 131)

I was, clearly, incongruent yesterday when I allowed another relationship to overshadow mine and Tweed’s. He was probably like, Who the hell are you today?

“Often horses tune out humans because there are so many thoughts going through the riders' head at any one time, the horse is left to guess which one is important. If he chose to follow the wrong one often enough-and got in trouble for it— he probably made a decision that it was safer to just ignore you.” (Sacred Spaces, p. 144)

I’ve spent the last few weeks trying to get on the same page as Tweed. What was he to interpret from my mind, body, and energy yesterday? He can’t understand that a whole different human was also present, via a phone conversation. It wasn’t fair to bring a variable like that into our time together. The term cross-contamination comes to mind. 

To sum it all up: doing something is always better than doing nothing, even on bad days, IF you also learn something from it. I did learn. That’s a win. 

Now, I just need to get out there and do better for my boy. 

TTouch Mouth Work & a Doc Appointment

 

I took more photos of Tumbleweed’s mouth yesterday, during bodywork, and sent them to my vet who floated his teeth last spring. They think it’s a foreign object that lodged itself, but we will find out next Thursday when I haul him into the clinic and have it removed and his teeth cleaned and floated again. 

As I said previously, the bodywork I use with Tweed is based upon the TTouch method, but I also use Masterson Method techniques. Whatever works best at the time and for the particular horse.

For example, Epona walked up to me in the turnout yesterday, and she was so sweet and relaxed that I took a moment to let her rest her head on my shoulder while I used MM on her upper neck and poll to get her to release. She loves that technique. 

Tweed, on the other hand, has a hard time relaxing when he’s with other horses at liberty. We do bodywork away from them.

The mouth work we do from TTouch is particularly good at triggering the parasympathetic nervous system / limbic system. Fast forward this video to 4:18 for an explanation of how it works. (The whole video is a very good primer.) They say it also helps with mouth aggressive horses. 

My TTouch practitioner had me keep a bottle of water nearby to wet my hands for the mouth work. 

The net result of the bodywork is a horse who comes to me in the turnout, even leaving off eating. Notice the hay dangling from his mane?

And he is so relaxed in the arena that day after day, even though his mood is different everyday and sometimes he starts out a little grumpier, he is relaxed by the time we get to the arena or go on a walk.

You may remember that when we first started back up, Tweed wanted to roll in the sand on the line. Stopping him caused quite a tantrum. Now, he shows the same signs of wanting to drop, but stops himself.

At the end of every session, I allow him to roll AFTER he is off the halter.

If you’re wondering what happened with Katie riding Tweed, that was put on hold after her first session because her ailment returned and she needs time to recover. She still had the cough when she came the one time. 

It turned out to be a blessing in disguise as I took a few steps back and concentrated on the emotional fitness of Tweed and the basics of our relationship. I think we’ve established a strong foundation with this new routine. 

Today, I’d like to do some riding to see how it translates in saddle. What I want to see is that he remains as calm being ridden as he has been on the ground. 

Here’s a little more information on TTouch “TRUST” work. 

I had the pleasure of interviewing Linda Tellington-Jones on my old podcast. I invited her on because I had already read her books and worked with a practitioner to integrate it into my routine. I was a fan. Unfortunately, I do not have links to that interview anymore. I think I have it saved on my old computer, so I might be able to retrieve it. 

Here’s a video of the TTouch mouth work. (She doesn’t seem to be using wet hands, which I highly recommend.) 

Here’s another basic primer. She demonstrates the basic circle, 6:00 to 9:00, and do not lift your hand off, but glide it along. The shape of the hand can be flat front or flat back or the claw she’s using. This is just one of many. I may do a video to show the work I do with Tweed. 

My practitioner also had me breathe in during the circle and breathe out, exhale, during a slow release of the hand, then glide and repeat. 

One thing becomes clear, bodywork, either this or Masterson Method, overlaps quite a bit with Sacred Spaces. You are getting with your horse as you do this work, bringing down your energy and theirs. 

Found Something Weird

(Woke up to a beautiful day.)

Before I get to the very weird thing I found on Tumbleweed today, I have to say, if you want your horse to be so chill they are borderline boring, do bodywork. Personally, I like boring. 

It is a sunny day, so I decided to do the bodywork away from the barn, closer to the arena.

Since we’ve been concentrating on the emotional, rather than the physical, Tweed has been relaxed from the start. He was no different today.

I got a lot of big releases without doing much. 

When I started his mouth work, he allowed me to massage all around his gums and even up top, under his lip. 

And that is when I felt a hard toothlike thing on his top, front jaw. It didn’t cause him any pain, so I continued to massage the rest of the gums, and then retrieved the camera to take a photo. 

I can’t say how long it has been there. He had his teeth floated last April and they didn’t see it, but they weren’t looking at that spot. He isn’t showing any signs of discomfort with it and his teeth are all strong. 

I sent the photo to my trainer down the road and she said it looks like a wolf tooth and she has seen one other horse that erupted there. She is sending the photo to the specialist who she uses. 

At any rate, that is the OTHER reason it is good to TTouch bodywork. You never know what you might find. 

Arena work. Easy. No emotions being away from the herd. 

And when I released him, he didn’t want me to go. 

Focus On the Emotional

We continue to have warm temperatures here, but they are accompanied by thick fog. The photo above was from yesterday, after it cleared. 

I saw this today on FB from a trainer I follow. She summed up what I have been doing all week with Tumbleweed. I took a step back and concentrated on the emotional, rather than the physical.

It seemed to me a better use of my time to help him settle into a relaxed mind and energy, rather than having emotional conversations about leaving the herd.

For example, here he is upon leaving the herd. Head high, hyper-vigilant. My first trainer, the one who starts them, allows her horses to work it out standing tied waiting for their turn. They stand tied for a good part of the day and find relaxation on their own  

That’s not really possible for me, so I use TTouch to get him there faster. A session takes around 45 minutes. I work on face, ears, mouth, neck, back, legs, and tail.

I continue to try bladder meridian, too, which has helped many of my other horses, but it doesn’t do much for Tweed. I’ve been able to get a couple of releases, and when I do, I stand back and let him have a moment. But he’s mostly kind of bored with it.

When he’s fully relaxed, we go exploring, walking wherever the wind blows us. 

The bodywork has made all the difference in his herd bound stuff. It’s nonexistent when we take the time to connect, or as in Sacred Spaces, find “communion.”  

I want him to know I have his best interest at heart. A good leader should inspire that level of trust. By listening to his energy, and addressing the underlying causes, I am saying, “you’re safe with me.”  If we can come out of winter with just that, it will change everything about our partnership.

The Fog Always Lifts

2/1/26

2/2/26