The Goal Has Been Reached, And I Am Better For It

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? 

Tell me, what is it you plan to do 

with your one wild and precious life?

—Mary Oliver, The Summer Day

I know my days on earth are finite.  The average lifespan of a female in the US is 81.2 years.  In other words, 29,638 days.  Of those days, I've already expended approximately 19,000.  Three years ago, I decided to be a better steward of those days, because as Benjamin Franklin so wisely said, "Lost time is never found again."

But there was more to it than that.  It was also this thing I learned long ago--the concept of Time = Love.  Where do you spend your time?  Well, that is what you love.  If not, you are certainly wasting your time, because your soul needs so desperately to do what it loves.  The beings that you love so desperately need your time.  

Today is the 183rd day of my 2018 Challenge.  My personal goal was 183 days of either riding or actively training a horse.  (And when I say training, I mean more than just grooming, feeding, cleaning their stalls.)  Days that I drove up to Canada to see and work with Tumbleweed, were included in that count. 

The Time = Love equation works in several ways  ---

1. It reveals what you love.

2. It makes the thing you love feel loved.

3. It makes you love, the thing you love, even more.

I can tell you that #3 is what has surprised me the most.  The more time I devote to my horses, the more time I want to devote to my horses.  Lucky for me, 2019 will give me that opportunity.

Here is a brief recap of my 2018 Challenge:

Leah

Leah and I had trail ride after trail ride this year.  I learned what a solid mount she is--wherever I took her.  On one ride, we got lost, and we had to ride several miles of paved road with loud trucks going by.  Leah was golden.  We rode Rustler's Gulch during in spring, and then again, in fall during hunting season.  We rode Hog Lake, Fish Lake, James Slavin, Palisades, and Riverside State Park.

I reached day 183, today, with Leah. After working on the touch exercises yesterday, I rode her bareback and practiced the same theme-- "kind" hands.  Riding bareback, I can feel her every twitch--instant feed back if my hands become rough.  Leah is sensitive and she wants to do it right.  Proper release is ever so important--timing--gentle asks--praise.

She responded well to "kind hands," and after our ride, I did a touch session with her.  Look at how relaxed she was. 

Our biggest milestone was opening and closing gates.  Leah would work herself up with gates, and a few years back, she fell over and almost landed on me during gate work--which compounded the anxiety.  This year, we worked step by step, stopping to allow her heart to rest--and soon enough, we had that gate opened and closed.  Once she mastered it and felt confident, gates were no problem.

Beautiful Girl

Things were going really well for Beautiful and I, until I decided to push her too hard.  That earned me a well-deserved "buck off."  Unfortunately, it set us back, but life with horses isn't all about the good things; it's also about dusting ourselves off and starting over.  And, that's where we are.  

My biggest milestone with Beautiful has been forgive and forget.  The forgiving was easy, and the forgetting is coming by replacing that bad memory with new good ones.  

Cowboy

What can I say about my heart horse that I haven't already said?  He has given me wings to fly, and for that I can never repay him.  He is 23 and living on borrowed time with that previously broken and displaced front P3 (coffin bone).  We are 12 years post injury, and everyone who knows how bad it was at the time shakes their head to hear that he's still going.  He also had, and still has, Head Shaking Syndrome--probably from the issues of that P3 that has developed arthritis.  

All that is to say--EVERY DAY IS A GIFT.

My biggest milestone with Cowboy was riding bareback and no reins, something we're still working on together.  That, and riding him bareback on two long trail rides.  Yeah, now that I think back, those bareback trail rides were the pinnacle of our time together this  year.

I've had a lot of time with Cowboy, and there is a lot of LOVE between us.

Tumbleweed

I committed to Tumbleweed the first week of his life.

 I mean, who couldn't fall in love with this sweet soul?

Everything fell into place, like it was meant to be, and the next thing I knew, I was driving to Canada every few weeks to see him.  And, I finally got to meet my blogging friend, Shirley, from Ride a Good Horse.  I had long admired Beamer's babies, and now I have one.  

I love him so much, it scares me.

Today, the vet came to give him shots and follow up wormer.  She did a short physical and thought  he seemed very healthy.  She remarked that he'd grown a lot since she last saw him.  She taped him at 350 pounds a month ago, and now he is taping at 500 pounds.  

I don't know what our future holds, but I'm going to enjoy every minute I'm given.

****

I hate to leave out the rest of the herd, because I have spent time with all of them, and I'm getting ready to start riding Foxy.  She is going to be the horse I use to pony Tumbleweed around.  I have a lesson set up for this Sunday, to help me get used to her, and try out a few different bit options.  She and Tumbleweed are currently sharing a large stall and turnout.

I just realized a 4th thing about Time = Love, and that is, when you do what you love, you are loving  yourself.  

I'll end with an excerpt from my own poem, The Breathing.

I hear their breathing,

each year stronger,

and something like love,

pulling me there.

What is time, 

but a rotation under the sun, 

a perception of what has been, 

a perception of moving 

toward what is to come.