Sunday, April 13, 2025

Age Undetermined

April 11th was my “birth” day, and, as is traditionally the case, my husband asked me what I wanted to do:

Anything. Just name it. He said. 


We’d had a family birthday dinner on the Sunday before it, so I just wanted to be with my daughter and grandson and then, when they had to go their separate ways, get in the car and wander together, alone.  

(I smashed my bare foot into a chair at the Sunday party and it still hasn’t healed, so that has put horseback riding, long hikes, and biking on the back burner.)


We went for an easy walk in the country where the purple widow’s grass was abundant. It was as if God had set out the most beautiful bouquets for us. 







3 generation photo. 


The first half of the day with daughter and grandson was lovely, but they had plans for the afternoon. 

The second half of the day, wandering alone with my husband, took us to Whitestone Rock on Lake Roosevelt, about an hour and a half away. We usually go there by boat, and swim or float on paddle boards underneath its massive watch, but there was a road to an overlook that we’d never explored. It ended at the old Whitestone winery, now out of business, but still there sitting quietly unoccupied. 


We were able to park and hike to an overlook. 

Behold, Whitestone Rock. 


Someone, had placed a gnome on the overlook. 








On the drive to Lake Roosevelt, we were able to reflect on birthdays and life and the crazy speed at which it’s all going. 

This birthday, chronologically my 58th, was bothering me just a little, and I wasn’t sure why. As we talked I was reminded that it is closer to 60 and 60 is the age my dad got prostate cancer. Both my grandparents on my dad’s side died at age 67. And, since we’re nine years apart, 60’s for me will mean 70’s for the love of my life, my husband. Naming those things, subconscious fears, I suppose, also took their power away. 

Throughout my birthday week I had received calls, visits, and lunches, and many people asked me how old I felt. 

At first, I searched for a number,…30, 40, 44, 50, 60…? In truth, though, no chronological number seemed to explain me or the way I feel. 

My mom told me that people who feel younger tend to live longer. 

What about those of us who feel ageless? 

I love where I’m at right now and who I’m with in life. I have this feeling, the same that I always have, that it can’t get any better.  There is nothing I hope for, except MORE of this—more time to play my instruments, to ride my horses, to enjoy my friends and family, and to LOVE those I love. 

So, cheers to living outside chronological time and being undefinable, even eternal. 

Let’s raise a glass to embracing the many blessings of being alive,… and loved. 





9 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday! Looks like you had a special time. The chronological age means nothing, remember the old saying "Your only as old as you feel!" At my age a lot of people think I should be home knitting or whatever but I still work with the horses and will ride again next month. My knee is still healing a bit since my replacement surgery in Feb. but I feel great and can't wait to get back in the saddle. So the main thing is don't overthink things and just enjoy everyday!
    Love the gnome on the rock! Beautiful scenery.

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    1. You’re such a great example of timelessness. I’m going to ask for a candle next year that represents eternity. Or, a sideways 8 for infinite and endless.

      Infinite possibilities.

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  2. A little update: I told my sister this plan and suggested I keep every single candle and celebrate all those years as symbols of light we have brought into the world. 🕯️ 🕯️ 🕯️ She is so sweet. I told her I’d do that, but only if I get 59 candles next year and not a 5-9. 😆 I still like the infinity candle idea.

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  3. Happy Belated Birthday Linda!! Beautiful way to celebrate you. Time well spent in nature with those you love.

    What a beautiful native flower! I had to look up how it got such a unique name. A thoughtful reflection in your first special flower photo with your daughter & grandson in the background.

    You have such a positive outlook on life and aging <3

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    1. Thank you. It was a nice day and my outlook about aging is a work in progress. Generally, though, the part of me that is ageless is the part I want to nurture.

      The flower is actually Grass Widow, and not what I call it, Widow’s Grass. I did a post on it once, and looked up that history.

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  4. Happy Birthday! It sounds like a great day to me. I’m going to be 61 next month. And while that gives me pause, I actually feel great. So I’m just going to enjoy the ride.

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    1. Thank you.I agree that you seem healthier and happier than ever. Aging in reverse! I felt the best I’d ever felt before smashing my foot. Now, 9 days in, it’s still not healed and I am left regretting not being more careful and mindful. Totally unforced error.

      I think I’m going to wrap it in vet wrap, shove it into my boot and proceed with life. Tumbleweed got shoes on a few days ago, and so did Cowgirl. I have work to do.

      Enjoy the ride and be mindful so you can prevent the preventable!

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  5. Ouch to the smashed foot- but seems it didn't deter you from having a lovely day! Belated happy birthday!
    I have been reflecting on age lately too; thinking on all the things I have planned over the next couple of years with young horses- and I am determined not to let my age stop me from living my dream. I agree, you are only as young as you feel, or conversely, as old as you succumb to. My mom was 79, my dad 83, and that is getting mighty close for me. Time does seem to accelerate as we grow older, doesn't it?
    Yes, here is to living life with love and loving life!

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    1. Thank you for the birthday wishes. I agree with you about living your dream. That is what keeps people alive longer. You see it time and time again.

      I would say, too, and I am pretty sure you feel the same way, the strength of one’s faith can be helpful, too. By that I mean deep faith and not the religious kind. Real faith knows there’s a God, “I am”, and it’s humble enough to know “I am not” God. That kind of real faith, so extremely rare, doesn’t play judge and jury, doesn’t harbor resentments, and worries about the future much less. There’s a freedom in that kind of faith, and if you concentrate on that one gift of the spirit, LOVE, whatever is eternal in us just leaps with joy. Working with animals absolutely taps into that sacred space. So does music. Gratitude. Meditation. Helping those in need. Never speaking ill of people, but trying to always guard your thoughts and what proceeds from your mouth.

      I’m writing this lengthy reply more to myself. Thinking out loud. That is the kind of person I LONG to be.

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