Our Fairytale Stories

Tomorrow is the day I will draw names for the book Sacred Spaces, and to enter, just leave a comment on this post or the original one. 

Today, though, I want to talk briefly again about our stories. Since we are bloggers, we are constantly telling them in a day to day style, but the book, Sacred Spaces, asks the reader to create a bigger story about ourselves and our horse, a fairytale version of what our story could be. 

But as I was writing mine, it morphed into a fairytale story of Tumbleweed and Foxy. 

From the moment she became his surrogate mama, and he needed one then, it developed into this huge love story between them that pushed me out. (The photos above were taken 7 years ago today.)

Unlike Cowboy, who was an orphan foal omega who didn’t need the herd, but needed me, Tumbleweed was popular in the herd and loved his Foxy. In fact, they all love Foxy, and she is a horse to study and emulate (a theme in another section of the book.)

So, the question arose in my mind, How do I write this story with a horse who doesn’t seem to need me? 

I don’t know the answer yet, but I got a glimpse of what it might look like this week if I connect with him on that deeper, spiritual level he, and I assume all horses, desire. 

But, the fact is, this story will probably be more about how much I need him, not vice versa. 

I need this journey with Tumbleweed right now. I need a new story. I need everything it will take to fulfill the story. 

Im writing it now, in my head, then I’ll put it down on paper. 

How about you? What is your story with the horse you have today? What is the fairytale you are writing?

Competition for Attention

 

Tuesday, as I went out to work with Tweed, my mind was full of all the ideas I’d read in Sacred Spaces and True Horsemanship Through Feel. I wanted to 1) learn to communicate with the horse I had that day, and 2) begin to visualize what I want before asking for it. I would like to see if I can train him to listen to my smallest intention, and shift of energy towards that intention.

It’s hard.

It’s hard because I usually go straight to the aid, and he has learned to tune out my energy and intention. I’ve trained him to ignore it. 

As I walked Tweed, he felt like he had some pent up energy, so I released him in the arena to “run it off.” (Mistake 1) He didn’t run, but instead tried to snatch grass from outside the arena. I remembered I’d forgotten some of the tack, and left him in there, alone, to go retrieve it  

When I got behind the shed, and he couldn’t see me, I heard a ruckus. He was ripping around and whinnying for a buddy. 

By the time I got back, he had totally switched into flight mode. 

Lesson 1: Tumbleweed needs connection to calm him,  not freedom.

I had planned to ride bareback that day, but the plans changed. I decided to instead work on the horse, and situation, before me, which would require that I safely catch and halter him, then bring his energy, and his mind, back to me. 

It took a few minutes to safely get him back under halter, but his energy was still way up. 

We did some basic flag work first, because I didn’t want to be standing too close to him when his energy was that high. 

When he calmed down enough, we did the head releases. 

The rest of our time together was working on the line, and asking for gait changes, but using an image of that change, and the energy from that image, before using any other ask, like the cluck, kiss, or (last resort) flag. 

Not surprisingly, Tweed, at first, ignored my intention, and he had big, emotional gait changes. He resisted tuning into me because he wanted to keep his attention outside the arena or on the herd.  

It hit me that the hardest thing we ask our horses to do isn’t physical, it’s mental. Their survival depends on their attention to their environment. Scary things. The herd. We’re asking them to let all that go and give us that precious attention. 

Even harder, however, is asking them to tune in on an even deeper level to our energy and intention. 

Our aids are big, hard to tune out (though they can). It gives them the opportunity to multi-task. I’ll think about scary things until I feel you physically cue me otherwise.  

Tuning into our energy and intention requires almost all their attention. 

As we worked on the line, and he figured out the new rules, he began looking to me more for my intention. I rewarded him big when he was successful. (New rules) His transitions became very relaxed. No more drama. 

Subtlety isn’t my strength, and neither is visualizing what I want before I ask. After Tuesday’s work, however,  I know Tweed is trainable to energy and intention, if I take the time to do it, then reward him. 

Working at home is challenging. It was much easier to get with him away from home. I have a few ideas to help with that, but I’ll write more about them later. 

I want to end this post with Amy Skinner Horsemanship on Facebook. One of her posts popped up this morning, and it was exactly what we’ve been talking about on this blog for the last month. I gave her page a follow and read some of her other posts. She talks about our fears, emotions, and baggage, and how they inform our life with horses. It was some really poignant writing, and I highly recommend it. 

Also, don’t forget the book giveaway. Leave a comment to be entered into the drawing. I think you will find things to love about the book Sacred Spaces. 

Update: Today, Tweed was completely tuned in and matching my energy. He didn’t even need a warm up. I didn’t think we’d get to riding bareback, but he was so gentle and willing, it seemed obvious to jump on. He was perfect, and we practiced tuning into the slightest intention, then rewarding. 

He did so well, I decided to try his trot at bareback, and it was also glorious. 

It proves, yet again, how drastically our horses can change from one day to the next. 

Sacred Spaces Giveaway

This was the view out my window yesterday, Epona and Tumbleweed sleeping together. It epitomizes the idea of “Sacred Spaces.” 

It’s that feeling you have when you’re so comfortable with someone else, you have full trust, and all the barriers come down. Your energy meets theirs. Your communication is silent, but stronger than words.

Now that Tumbleweed’s shoes are off and we’re staying home, my focus has shifted to relationship work. What can I do to develop his trust? 

A friend posted the wisdom above, and I liked it and remarked that it sounded like what I’m reading about feel in True Horsemanship. Another friend contacted me and told me that Dr Susan Fay (the quote above) wrote a book called Sacred Spaces, and she really enjoyed it.

I ordered it on the spot, it arrived the next day, and I finished it a few days ago.

This is a book about the rider, not about training. It is about what we bring to the relationship in terms of our energy, intention, stories, labels, focus, and expectations. She said she wrote it to help the horse by helping the human.

And she certainly got me thinking about my own stories, energy, intentions, and labels, especially since that was the last great epiphany of my trail riding season. It was that moment when I said, the problem is me. I need to fix me.

Everything shifted at that moment and I realized I’d focused too much on mechanics (which I’m not good at and probably never will be) and not enough on the feel and the communication and support that comes from it.

A horse will do almost anything for you if you get those pieces right.

Unlike True Horsemanship, this book is available to purchase, and I would like to make it my giveaway today. I can’t send you mine, because mine is now as marked up as a personal journal, but I will send you your own new copy.

For this giveaway, I only ask that you comment with a story or label you told yourself that got in the way of your horse journey. I will draw a name a week from today for the winner of the book.

Personally, I can think of all kinds of stories and labels that got in my way. Most recently, the one about Tumbleweed and hill work. I was so focused on what was going wrong, I failed to see how it would look going right. That movie in my head was creating changes in me, and him, that sabotaged our progress. 

Seeing Katie ride Tumbleweed showed me a different movie, and a better way that focused on feel for Tumbleweed as a completely unique soul. (Dr. Fay brings up that scenario in the book—sometimes we need to see another rider on our horse.) The new movie influenced me in such a drastic way that our next ride was the glorious one I previously wrote about. 

So, how about you? What expectations, labels for your horse, or stories from the past, projected to the future, didn’t serve you and your horse?

Sacred Spaces

 

I just finished the book, Sacred Spaces: Communion With the Horse Through Science and Spirit. Wow. So. Much. Amazing. Insight.

As I was reading True Horsemanship, a friend recommended it to me, and it builds beautifully on the philosophies of the Dorrances, but expands on the idea of the energy/ spirit, visualization, and intention. 

From True Unity by Tom Dorrance:

“I didn’t use to elaborate on the third factor, spirit; I only just mentioned it. But I’ve begun to wonder about it in the last few years. Maybe if people got to realizing the importance of that part of the horse, they could get more feel and understanding from right in the horse’s innards. Then they could try to figure out the mental and the physical parts. 

Riders may want to get an answer to their questions right early—on the surface. I want them to try to figure out something; I want them to work at figuring out the whole horse—his mind, body, and spirit. Maybe they will figure out what they are missing.”

Spirit, energy, intention, stories, visualizations, communication: my head is swimming with all the things the book brought up and how it expands on the concept of feel and connection, taking it even further to communion. 

I will write more tomorrow, but today I am heading to the barn to spend time with Foxy, the passive leader of our herd and the one Tumbleweed loves with every cell in his body. 

I have a lot to learn from her.  

Tumbleweed’s 2nd Ride Bareback (Video)

There’s not a lot to say about this post, except that I did work on feel from the ground first and also a “make believe” visualization last night while I was reading the book, Sacred Spaces: Communion With The Horse Through Science and Spirit. 

It’s Tumbleweed’s second time bareback, and there wasn’t any of the muscle twitching going on that we had from his first experience. 

He did very well. 

I didn’t ask for anything beyond the walk, although, I think he would have been fine at other gaits. 

That’s for another day.  

If you do watch this long video, there is one point toward the end where he’s looking outside the arena for something to be concerned about, and when I checked in with him on the inside rein he was surprised and scooted a bit. I was doing those little check ins the whole time. That’s the feel he needs for support.

My husband sat and took the video with the dogs running around him. Luckily, they didn’t startle Tweed.