Be My Place

Tumbleweed has had the last five days off since his vet appointment. It has given me time to reflect.

I was very proud of him at our appointment. He is great at loading and hauling, and when we arrived at the clinic, about a 40 minute drive, he unloaded and remained calm in the parking lot while we waited for them to come get us, about 20 minutes. 

A train went by. A stray dog popped out. Horses were whinnying from stalls. Workers were shuffling around corners. There was a lot. But he just looked, then relaxed and stood quietly by my side.

When they finally came to get us, they had us go into a new area they use for floating. It is a small room in a barn with a garage style door that was half open. Tumbleweed stopped at the entrance, I rubbed his head, and then he followed me right in and allowed them to calmly inspect his mouth before being tranquilized. 

I was proud because what I felt from him was trust. 

All this talk and effort towards getting the right feel, energy, connection, respect, communion—it boils down to wanting their trust. 

There is a verse from The Bible that I think about a lot, Ruth to Naomi:

 

“Where you go, I will go; and where you stay, I will stay.”

I usually think about it in regard to how I feel about my husband. Wherever he is, that is home to me. But lately I’ve been thinking about it in the context of my horse and how I want him to feel. 

I want to be home to him. His safe place. Whether we’re in the woods on some dark trail or at a clinic along a busy road or in the arena. 

It reminds me of one of my favorite psalms, too, you are my hiding place, you protect me from trouble.  

I love that one so much that I wrote a song about it some years ago on guitar. My plea to God in a hard moment of life. The chorus:

Be my hiding place. Be my hiding place. Be the hand that I can trace. Be my pride and be my grace. Be my place, be my place. 

I know what it’s like to be afraid and lost. Terrified, even. And I know what it’s like to find safety, trust, and security. 

That is what I want Tumbleweed to find in me, and if I have an actual goal, that is it. That’s what it’s all about.