I Am A Proud & Grateful ‘Horsewoman’

I consider myself a horsewoman. It has been a vital part of my identity from the moment I purchased my first horse at 18 years old & worked to put myself through college while supporting him, then another. 

While other young people were going away for college, I stayed near home so that I could live my horsey life. Everyday before classes, I drove out to feed them. I attended classes in jeans and cowboy boots. When my classes were finished, I studied or worked as a tutor in the English Lab, then drove back out to ride, clean stalls (if they weren’t on pasture), and give them their evening feed. After that, I’d drive home, dress up for my job serving tables at a local restaurant, then back home to study again, sleep, and repeat. 

I wasn’t the best horsewoman back then, but I was trying my hardest to figure it out, and I have learned with time that we’re never good enough. We’re not God. We can’t prevent every bad thing from happening. As it was, my two horses survived just fine, and I raised them up to be great horses for other people. 

Mistakes and all, it is one of the times of my life for which I am most proud. 

So, what are the qualities of a horsewoman? 

Have a heart for horses. 

Be thankful everyday for the privilege of feeding them morning and night, grooming their beautiful bodies, breathing in their glorious smell. Kiss their sweet muzzles while you still can.  Sing praises as you clean stalls and feather their beds with pine shavings. Learn to listen, hear and understand what they are trying to say to you. Lessen their worries, their pain, their fears and burdens. When they pass, think of them everyday and let the love you have for them fill your heart again. 

A horsewoman has to keep going for her horses. She has to keep growing, too. When she falls down, she has to pick herself back up quickly, dust herself off, learn a lesson, and move on. She has to forgive and let go her hold of grudges, emptying whatever unhealthy thoughts and feelings are there in order to approach her horses with a clean slate and an open mind and heart. 

A horsewoman has to be strong, even when she’d rather be weak, because her horses expect that of her. 

Here’s to all you horsewomen out there and your horses, past and present. What a glorious life we will have to look back upon when it’s all over. 

Thanks to our horses. 

What is a Horsewoman?

Oh, T, you make my heart sing. You make everything…groovy.  (Yesterday was Tweed’s 6th birthday.)

All that work at home with T Boo, with all those distractions and craziness, paid off big yesterday at the equestrian park. 

We didn’t have to spend hardly any time in the round pen, and he was able to maintain vertical flexion and move off my rein and leg. Then we opened and closed the gate, something he has always done well, but now does better. Then, off to the obstacles and trail work, where he was tuned in, balanced, and forward in a working frame of mind, but not nervous. 

I felt more confident on him, like we were a team. This is a reminder that it’s not about “training our horse.” It is about training ourselves and our horse, together, to work as a partnership. Those short, consistent lessons we’ve had were as much about me as Tweed. 

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The last post was about Atomic Habits and that we are more likely to continue the habits we want if they are not goal oriented, but systems oriented, and express our identity. 

We all have many parts of our identity, but this is my horse blog, so I’m concentrating on one: being a horsewoman. 

The author, James Clear, tells us to ask ourselves what are the qualities of the person we think could accomplish what we want to accomplish. For me, what are the qualities of a horsewoman. 

I brainstormed a few qualities off the top of my head, attributes that I will need, but not in order of importance:

Observant caretaker
Brave not stupid
Independent thinking
Creative
Good balance and agility
Forgiving 
Optimistic
Good boundaries
Wise
Sensitive listener

Devotion

I’ll probably write more about those things and what I mean by them in another post. 

I did an internet search for the qualities of a horseman, and found some very elaborate, difficult to attain descriptions. Most of the descriptions sounded more like the very best professional trainers, which explains why so few people are willing to embrace the term for themselves, always feeling that they haven’t attained that “goal” yet. 

Then, I did a search for horsewoman, and the definitions became much more general and attainable:

Trainer Katrina Silva

“Core values of good horsemanship cluster around calmness, consistency, and fairness.”

At my lesson yesterday I asked my trainer what 3 qualities she thought were most important in a horsewoman. In the setting we were in, of course, she was probably assuming that it was in reference to a riding relationship. She answered:

Patience (I hadn’t told her about The Compound Effect, but patience is at the core.)

Lots of quality time (she explained that by this she meant that when we spend time with our horses we should tune everything else out and be solely focused on our horse.)

Observation (she observed that I need to take T Boo off the green grass.)

Developing my list of the qualities of the horsewoman I want to become is still a work in progress, but the next question is what would the habits be of the person who has those qualities. 

Those are the habits I want to incorporate and become. 

I would also like to invite you to share your own thoughts. 

What are the qualities of a horsewoman?

What are the habits of that horsewoman?

Forget the Goals

I finished The Compound Effect, recommended by my oldest son, and then hearing that we were interested in that subject, my youngest son recommended another, Atomic Habits. 

So far, there is definitely some overlap, but Atomic Habits is going off in even more mind-blowing, wonderful directions. 

Forget the goals, which motivate you temporarily, and for the wrong reasons, and go straight to the heart, the systems. 

Instead of saying, when I accomplish this I will be that (goal thinking), you embrace being that thing you want to be right now and changing the entire system to sync with your identity.

For example, I am studying, practicing, and playing the flute now. Therefore, I am a flutist. I am a musician. Not someday. Now.

If you’re training for a marathon, you are a runner  

The idea is that you are more likely to continue something if you embrace it as your identity. 

For example, after reading The Compound Effect, I have incorporated more exercise (with grandson), drinking lemon water, and reading spiritually and mentally uplifting things more than the daily depressing news.  

I am a healthy living person. 

Not someday. 

Now. 

Once again, I got to thinking about my horse life with T Boo (Tweed), and all the others—I have goals—but what is my basic operating system?

I am a horsewoman. 

My greatest need from my horses is to connect with them. 

Way down on the totem pole is my riding relationship, yet most of my “goals” are wrapped around riding.  

What if I concentrate more on the overall system—connecting with them as much as possible?

It is freeing to think of it from a systems standpoint, rather than a “goal,” which seems temporary, utilitarian, and impersonal. The system should, if organized right, take us past the “goals,” and onto something far superior to them. 

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The vet came out today and gave Epona everything she needs for training next month. She was happy to see Epona again, and as one of the team of caregivers, she had a vital part in getting her here.

In fact, a lot of people participated in getting Epona to this point in her life. It kind of feels like she’s everyone’s horse. 

We’re going to take her down on June 8th, but we will really miss her. 

Horse Challenges at Home: Other Horses

 

Of all the distractions training at home, other horses might be the most challenging, especially when they’re all out grazing where your horse in training can see and talk to them. Our arena and roundpen are surrounded by pasture, so the horses at liberty can come right up and watch, call out to Tweed, and taunt him with their grass eating. 

The book I’m reading, The Compound Effect, is truly inspiring…and convicting. 

I believe I already mentioned that it talks about how your positive investments compound in your life, slowly at first, then exponentially faster later. 

But it also talks about how your negative habits do the same thing in reverse, eventually derailing you from your goals and your “why power.” 

He also points out that you are 100% responsible for the choices in your life. It’s not 50/50, 75/25, or 99/1. You are responsible for your life. No excuses. No blaming someone else. 

This has been a challenging year, and I was getting in the mindset that I didn’t have time to train/ride, exercise, or eat healthy, because I was so busy with my new responsibilities. 

That was incorrect thinking, and I am trying to fix it.  

One thing I’m doing is making sure I work with Tumbleweed everyday, even if it’s a short session. No excuses. My time constraints dictate that I stay put and not haul away every time I want to ride Tweed, which equals a little more work, but probably more gain, too.

Today, we were doing our thing, half circles and lope, trot, lope transitions, and the pony, Lily, came over to watch and talk to Tumbleweed. She’s low on his hierarchy, but it was distracting. 

Tumbleweed’s world goes like this:

#1 Foxy (by far)

#2 Epona

#3 Beautiful Girl

#4 All the rest 

So, Lily wasn’t the Big Bang, but she was a reminder that they were all eating grass while he was having to tune in and work. 

I am very proud to say that with very little correction Tumbleweed gave his attention back to me and completed his training. I made a big deal over him, then released him with the herd on a positive note. 

This ability to tune into me when he is with me will pay dividends out on the trail when he could easily become distracted and unsettled by the other horses I’m riding with or the unexpected people, dogs, wild animals, birds, and bikes we will most certainly meet on the trail. 

It is an investment that will compound little by little, but eventually pay off BIG. 

Happy Mother’s Day, cowgirls! I hope you’re enjoying your fur babies, and human ones, today.  

Horse Challenges At Home: Toddler Energy

We received our photos from Britt Harvey Photography, and I’ll be adding them to the next few posts, starting with a few of my grandson, the topic of this post, The Challenges Working Horses At Home. 

Generally, I prefer to haul to our local equestrian area because it is easier to keep Tweed’s attention and they have so many great obstacles and trails. Last fall, however, I put up a round pen and had more sand brought in so that I could start working here. Yikes, all the distractions!

It has been much more challenging with the other horses, the green pasture, our dogs…and our grandson. 

Grandson energy! Two year old vibes even rattle steady Eddie Foxy. 

But she gets it done. 

The horses are very interested in him, and…cautious. 

Last night I was working with Tumbleweed in the round pen and grandson was in the arena throwing sand. He was all over the place, with his mom watching. Lots. Of. Energy. 

Tumbleweed was tuned into him, but I thought it would be a good distraction to work through. Oddly, Tweed was refusing to lope. He wanted to stop and stand and, if he could, watch the toddler. It went on like that for a long time, the start, stop and watch. 

I finally had an epiphany that perhaps he was nervous that the grandson would somehow appear in the round pen, and he didn’t want to run him over. So, I asked my daughter to contain grandson a little further away. 

Voila. That was it. 

Tumbleweed started moving out freely and giving me his attention. 

Good Tweed. 

We finished up, did a cool off period with Masterson Method and ended on a good note. I went back to the barn later with grandson, (we were out there a lot last night because of the Northern Lights show) and stood in Tweed’s stall as grandson ran up and down the aisles with grandpa. Tweed was curious, cautious, and a little nervous. I petted on him, and he gave some big releases, then finally relaxed around grandson. 

This is a great opportunity to help Tumbleweed know how to handle himself around kiddos who have a lot of unpredictable chaos energy. 

When I went out to work with him this morning, he was absolutely golden. His lope to trot transitions came fast and he did great in saddle. That was evidence to me that I had read the situation correctly. 

Working Tweed at home has had its ups and downs, but I think that it was a necessary missing piece to our training: work where there is the most temptation, distraction, and …chaos. 

I am back to riding because my saddle is finished, and looks oh so beautiful! More on that later. 

I’ll leave you with a photo of last night’s… AURORA Borealis, looking at our barn. 

The Compound Effect for Horsemanship

I’m reading a book called, The Compound Effect. It was recommended by my son to my husband, and he finished it in a day.

He writes about how life is like putting money in a retirement account. For a long time you don’t see the benefit, but after awhile, it takes off. Big life changes are mostly made with small steps. You’re more likely to follow through with small changes. 

I took a week off from riding, and then had a lesson, and you could see how the opposite had occurred. Tweed and I lost some ground. First off, I couldn't believe it had been a week. It went by so fast, and I couldn't remember what I did until I took time to piece it together--an overnight trip, some bad weather, lots of babysitting, ...poof! Gone!

Tweed seemed off, and my trainer was trying to figure out if it was just a bad day or if it was the tack. He had gotten his first set of shoes on which can sometimes make him grumpy. Perhaps, that was it...or just wanting to be out on pasture eating grass.

We also checked out my saddle and found a little divet about at the left shoulder. The wool is largely rubbed away there. Perhaps, that was it....or just wanting to eat grass.

My saddle is pretty old. I’ve used it for over 20 years, and it came from a roper who had also used it pretty hard. I love it, even though it weighs as much as my horse. You get used to riding in one saddle, and it's hard to change.

I took it into our local saddle shop and he said he could pound down the divet and / or replace the sheep skin, which requires taking it apart. He didn't seem to think it mattered much either way, since I use a thick wool pad. 

I did some research afterward, and apparently the sheep skin was used under saddles because all they had way back in the early days were saddle blankets which were inferior to our modern day pads.

I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to be without my saddle during riding season, but he said he could have it done in 4 days and he’d fix anything else that it needed, plus oil it, for $300. It seemed like a bargain. Yeehaw! I get to keep my old saddle for a while longer.

Circling back to the book, and this concept of doing something small everyday, since I am saddleless, it’s a perfect time for groundwork. I realized that I'd somehow gotten into the bad habit, even though I know better, of making every session with Tumbleweed big.  That's great if you have lots of time everyday, but if you have limited time, the habit of going big can cause paralysis. In other words, it's time to think small again.

My goals this week have been simple: lope to trot transitions and the disengagement dance.

I saw a Buck Brannaman reel on Facebook that was just beautiful.

He calls it the half circle exercise. 

It's actually an exercise Regina had me do with Tumbleweed when he was 2 and 3 because he was getting worked up at her barn and sticky in front. It gets them moving and thinking and respecting your space. When I saw it set to music with the drone overhead, Buck had created something like a dance, and I wanted to circle back and do better with it myself.  When we get it down, I'll share a video...maybe even set it to music. 

I'll also have photos of the new wool on my saddle and an update about the book when I finish it. I could kick myself for not taking a before photo of the saddle. Grrr.