The Evidence!

It seemed like Spring yesterday--47 degrees according to my car--sunshine--horses. Spring-like conditions, yes, but do you know how I can tell it's NOT Spring (besides looking at the calendar or listening to the Groundhog)?

My horses aren't shedding! Not a single hair--they're all holding tight. And, you can guess what that tells me, pretty much what Joanne said yesterday--don't pack away my mittens just yet.

Yep, when it's Spring, I will be wearing hair on my clothes, plucking it out of my mouth, my nose, my eyes. But those horses aren't releasing anything--not a bit. In fact, I've noticed mine look like Woolly Mammoths compared to my friend's, whose are stabled, and I don't think they're going to go slick anytime soon.

Shiloh was out working her girl, Cowgirl, yesterday, and I realized while photographing them, she's still wearing the same barn coat she's been wearing since she was twelve. (Her dad bought it for her big, and she used to swim in it!) My girl gets attached to things!



I think her main quality is loyalty. (She still has her hand knitted blankie) and she's a bit of a pack rat. I asked her if I could buy her a new coat, maybe a prettier one. She said she likes hers, but she'd be willing to look.



So, here's what she found. No pink, plum, purple or brown for her--green. And, she LOVES it. The thing that sold her on it and made her willing to trade her old one in, is the hat. She loves the hat.



Now, to Beautiful, here's the evidence--the title of my blog post today!!!

Remember how I said Beautiful ALWAYS rolls in mud after I groom her? Did you think I was exaggerating?



If anything, I was being kind. Not only does she roll in it, she mashes her whole body into it. She pushes herself down into every wet, sloppy part of it.



She is so not a prissy thing.

When we work the other horses or ride off without her, she goes crazy! She really wants to be a part of everything. This is her going nuts while Cowgirl was working. They pretty much ignore her.



When I worked with her (Beautiful) yesterday, besides a little bucking on the lunge line, she did well. She moved out nicely, stopped when I said "whoa", moved out of my space, backed up responsively--everything I asked. She was still a little squirrelly being tied up though--pulling back a bit, pawing--not as bad as the day before, but she needs work being tied.

Is this Spring? I think So.

I had the best ride at the arena yesterday--no lesson, just fun. I needed that. I met my friend with the goal of just getting the horses out for exercise now that Cowboy seems solid on his feet again. He did seem off toward the end of the ride, but on the opposite side as usual. Maybe I'm imagining it because I know he has the potential to go lame where the fracture occurred, but other people think they can see it, too--think they can see it is the key word. No one sees anything until after I ask. Am I imagining it?

The riding season is back in full gear. We've pretty much decided there is not going to be anymore winter--despite what the groundhog said the other day. The temps are warm, or at least, seem warm--are the 40's warm? Apparently, to us Spokane people it is. We're going to ride this afternoon at the arena again--and hit the trails for the first time Monday--when it's supposed to be sunny and maybe up to 50. There's a great trail--an old road--that doesn't get too muddy and overlooks all of Spokane and surrounding area--it's like you're riding in heaven looking down on earth.

Here are some pictures from this morning and yesterday.

Maggie in the fog yesterday.



A house going up at the edge of our property. They put the trusses and walls up yesterday. Instant house!



The horses huddling this morning. Notice they don't let Cowboy in? They never do. Grrrr!



Here's the fog lifting this morning--looks like it will be a nice day to ride.



And, jumping back to yesterday--Ezzy sitting at the edge of the fog looking down the road toward the house--which is completely obscured.



Here's Beautiful, yesterday, tied in the alleyway of the barn. She's acting like it's Spring. She's pretty wound up, pawing, chewing her rope, swinging her butt around. By the time I was finished grooming her, I was too tired to take an after picture. So, more work with her today is definitely in need of and called for.

The picture doesn't really do her justice, but she has grown a lot this past season. All horses officially turn another year at January, but she is still 2. I look back at the pictures of my other horses at 2 and they're scrawny--so I know horses, especially Mustangs, have a lot of growing and maturing to do still.



Oh, another thing--my computer died yesterday. Died. Dead. Bad. Of course, I hadn't backed anything up in over a year!! After I banged my head on a few walls and dry cried (where you want to cry, but no tears will actually come out) I went to work to solve the problem.

Well, lucky me, pat me on the back, I fixed it by myself. Despite what people say when they're mad, computers are logical instruments. By process of deduction, I narrowed it down to faulty RAM, and replaced it with my old RAM which I had sitting around. Voila! Computer problem identified and solved--computer working again--I instantly back up ALL of my data!! I got lucky that time.

Caution to everyone else: (though you probably don't need this caution) back everything up.

What's In You Will Save You

Last night I got to hear one of my favorite poets read at Gonzaga, Sharon Olds.

There is a quote she's used in her books from the Gospel of Thomas--the host introduced her with. It stood out to me immediately and I thought that it's the best way to describe the honesty of, what she confessed last night, is her autobiographical poetry. But it's also a quote I think is very true for all of us:

If you bring forth what is within you,
what you bring forth will save you.
If you do not bring forth what is within you,
what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

My husband was excited for me to meet this poet I've loved reading so much, so he was ready with the camera as I went to get her autograph in her book, The Wellspring. Unfortunately, I'd set the camera to video last week and he didn't know how to turn it off, so instead of a picture, you get live footage of the moment.



A lot of the poetry she read last night was about her children--and especially, her daughter when she was leaving for college. As you know from reading my recent entries, this was something I could relate to. Here is a bit of High School Senior.

There are creatures whose children float away
at birth, and those who throat-feed their young
for weeks and never see them again. My daughter
is free and she is in me--no, my love
of her is in me, moving in my heart,
changing chambers, like something poured
from hand to hand, to be weighed and then reweighed.

This morning I'm meeting a friend for a ride at the arena. This is what I have to ride through to get there.



Yeah, I'm pretty sure my horses are out there somewhere!

February: Love

My Report Card: C+

Have I decluttered? No.

Been drinking more water? No.

Walked at least ten minutes a day? Yes.

Defined My Purpose for each day? Yes.

Kept the inertia going forward? Yes.


February's goal is LOVE--no surprise since Valentine's Day falls right in the middle of the month--my darling daughter's birthday! The focus this month, for having a happy life, is working on "love" in our relationships.

So, I started thinking about all of my relationships (in my home/barn) and they are many! 1.) Husband, 2.) Children, 3.) 2 dogs, 4.) 4 cats, 5.) 3 goats, and 6.) 7 horses. That's a lot of relationships to work on and that's not even including the rest of my big family and my friendships.

Speaking of friendships, the club which has been a big part of my life for the past few years, Moms, Daughters, and Horses, is going to change a bit. We've all decided to end the non-profit part of it. We've taken different turns in our lives and have decided that the paperwork and fundraising is just too much right now. Our friendships are already solid, and growing, and we still intend to do our fun days, forum, parties and coffees, but the Legal-Eze, and all the work that goes with that, will be redirected. There are so many clubs out there with good causes, we'll still have plenty of opportunities to raise money, clear trails, save horses, and mentor the youth. And, we still have each other and our trail rides and activities--but rather than a 501C3 umbrella, it's an umbrella of friendship--horsewomen who like to hang out and have fun.

I'm actually very excited about this change. These are wonderful women and GOOD friends and I so look forward to just relaxing and enjoying them all now.

My goals for February: spend more quality time with the aforementioned "loves" in my life--concentrate on all of them on the list.

How are you all doing on keeping your resolutions? How's the energy? How's the love?

Nine more days until the book giveaways--don't forget, February 10th.

January: Get More Energy!

My book came today, the one I've been talking so much about, The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun. So far, it's way, way, way better than I expected.

First, I was happy to see, it wasn't a self-help book--it's a MEMOIR!! Second, she's like me--someone who is already happy, but wants to appreciate things more, have more energy to do the things she's already doing--pursue her passions, and be more focused and productive. She knows that life brings challenges--tragedies--and she wants to be prepared for them. Also, she wants to live her life fully, not half-way.

The first chapter is January, and it's about ENERGY--physical energy and mental energy because if we're going to spend a year revamping our lives, we need to have some. She talks about things she did to get it--exercise, getting to bed earlier (preparing for sleep earlier), and decluttering her house.

She inspired me, so here are my ideas and my own personal list for creating more energy in my life:

1. Exercise--walk AT LEAST ten minutes every day so that I don't get out of the habit, but preferably much more. (She wore a $20 pedometer to see how many steps she was taking a day--hoping she'd taken at least 10,000--she barely took 3,000)

2. Drink more water!!

3. Live each day with a purpose--have a daily goal and a list of how I'm going to get there and not get side-tracked. For example, I started this morning by making my list. One of the things on it was to finish an essay I'd been working on before I did anything else. I was tempted to do other things, but followed my own instructions and stayed put until it was finished. Now I'm done and just the thought that it's not hanging over my head has given me lots of energy. Which brings me to number 4--

4. Inertia--objects in motion stay in motion--so I have to keep going.

5. Declutter by bedroom, my barn and my trailer's tack room. I love her names for the different kind of clutter: freebie clutter, nostalgic clutter, bargain clutter, buyer's remorse clutter, aspirational clutter --and on and on.

My hope is that I have more energy this year to reach all of my goals--more time with my children, extended family and my horses, riding my 4 year old C'ya more, getting Beautiful used to a saddle, training for Fun Days with Cowboy, attending my friends' barrel racing competitions, fencing the pastures, gardening, keeping my barn organized (after I declutter) and piano practice and writing.

If you were to make an ENERGY list, what would it look like--or do you already have plenty of it? Some people just come by it naturally, but I can be a little too laid back. Are you one of those Type A, driven women? Maybe you're making a list about how to slow down!

Dogs: A Great Reason to be Happy!

I appreciated your feedback on happiness the other day. My book still hasn't arrived, but you did get me thinking about all I have to celebrate! I'm making a happiness list. (I wonder if the book will tell me to do that.)

This will be a pretty large list, to be sure, but I'm only going to blog a couple of things on it--exactly two of the things on it--my dogs.

When God made dogs, he must have totally been thinking of humans. You will love them no matter what, you will look to them as your gods, you will die for them, if need be. Then, I can imagine, he looked to humans and said, You probably don't deserve this, but I'm giving it to you anyway--the love of a dog.

There was a homeless man I ran into on a trail ride last year who had five dogs with him--all healthy and happy--but, apparently, they didn't like horses since they came after ours. Still, it made me think, you could have nothing and nobody in the world and still have the love of a dog (or five).

My two dogs are girls--Elsa, who is thirteen and very old now, and Maggie, my four year old lab. Both are very special.



Elsa is not pretty anymore. We shaved her last summer and much of her hair didn't grow back. She also has a big fatty tumor on her chest that we won't have removed since it would be too hard on her. She was hit by a truck when she was young and out on an adventure (bad girl!) and it displaced her hip, so she has a hard time walking around. All and all, she's pretty rough.



Yet, with all that, she still tries to follow me out to the barn, she follows me up and down the stairs (once she knows I'm going to be in a place for a while so she can lie down and rest when she gets there) and she ALWAYS sits under my piano whenever I play--right by the pedals. I could look my whole life and not find love like that anywhere.

I see Elsa as she is now, but I also see her as the puppy I brought home who slept next to my bed each night, my hand dangling down in her box to comfort her so she could sleep.

Speaking of puppies--here's Maggie..my other girl--



Maggie, our sweet Lab, I chose her from my sister's litter on the day she was born. She came into the world fully trained and just wanting love. I kid you not, Maggie had no issues in life--she has always wanted to be the Omega. Not an Omega in the cowering and frightened sense you sometimes see, but in a deeply humble and respectful way. No matter what age child comes into our home, Maggie will always be gentle.



Whenever I leave the house in the car, I look up to the window in the dining room, and there is Maggie with her head on the sill, eyes drooping. I know she doesn't understand why I'd ever want to leave the house. For the first couple years of her life, she used to get so depressed when I'd get my keys I started to think she had a sixth sense about something that might happen to me, and I almost didn't want to leave! Turns out, she's just sad.



She's young and has the energy Elsa does not, (see picture below!)so she's always with me when I ride around here on the horses or 4-wheeler. She's also Elsa's legs--Elsa will bark at the road and Maggie will run to the road. Lately though, Elsa's hearing is getting really bad and she barks at things that aren't there. Maggie still runs, but then she'll look around and see nothing and stop. At those moments she looks back at Elsa like she understands the sadness of aging.



I'm sure you'll all agree with me--dogs are a gift to us humans and a great reason to be happy in this world!

What dogs are dear to your hearts?

How Do You Find Happiness?

Here are some photos for today. It was snowing this morning, and the flakes were huge. They were like snowballs or snow-blankets--more precisely, as my husband described: wet snow, stuck together in clumps.

Totally off the subject of snow, (Or not), I've really been contemplating the idea of happiness lately because of a book I'm expecting in the mail called, The Happiness Project, which I saw on Joanne's blog, Whole Latte Life.

Here's a description from the website--The Happiness Project:

Gretchen Rubin is a best-selling writer whose new book, The Happiness Project, is an account of the year she spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier.

The reason it sounded good to me is because, after reading her interview, I was struck by her theory that you have to pursue happiness--it doesn't just come to you. Like everyone, I could be happier--so I'm interested in what she found out. I also want to teach it to my kids.

I'm a melancholy personality--which, according to Wikipedia is defined as such: A person who is a thoughtful ponderer has a melancholic disposition. Often very kind and considerate, melancholics can be highly creative – as in poetry and art - and can become occupied with the tragedy and cruelty in the world. A melancholic is also often a perfectionist. They are often self-reliant and independent." I think that basically describes me, but I'm not a perfectionist, and I'm not always as considerate as I should be either.

As I wait for the book, which may be in the mailbox now, but I haven't checked yet--I'm trying to pick my own brain for what I know of happiness already. Have no doubt, I LOVE the kind of happiness that just happens to me without my having to do anything. However, if I'm really honest with myself, I think true happiness can only come from serving a cause greater than yourself.

So, I'm wondering--what causes do you all find near and dear to your hearts? Where do you find the most happiness? Are there any areas of need that you'd like to bring to our attention in the comments? If you have a moment, please share your thoughts!

What's Your Story?

How have you changed since working with horses?

This is something I've been thinking about as I've contemplated the theme--writing and horses. I'm still in the middle of this book giveaway--two copies of Kiss Tomorrow Hello (drawing February 10th)--and I'm wondering what makes a good horse/human story.

Here's my list on how I've changed working with horses:

1. I talk to them less than I did. I've evolved toward quieter exchanges. Even in the saddle, I cluck and kiss less--moving more toward physical cues than verbal ones.

2. I'm calmer when they start to get excited. I'm with them so often, I have a pretty good idea of what sets them off and how they'll react. If I stay quiet, it helps them to calm down.

3. I don't sweat about how good they look day to day. I know they clean up good when I want them to, other than that, they seem to like to be dirty, so I don't fight it.

4. I rarely use gadgets anymore. I have a few staples, and that's about it. Rope halter, lead, long line, long whip, saddle, spurs, etc. I buy a lot less, too.

How have I changed personally?

1. I'm more of a loner or more in need of my alone times. I think it's because my animals draw me toward home.

2. As a follow-up to number one--all of my friends anymore seem to be horse people. Most of my socializing is on the trail or, in winter, at the Cowgirl Coffee shop. We like to talk about....um, horses. So, it's a self-limiting group.

3. I deleted three because I thought about it and it wasn't really true. Maybe I'm more honest with myself after working with horses. LOL.

4. More tuned into my natural environment. This is a BIG one. I used to be a person who did not key into the fine details of nature--horseback rides and seeing things from my horse's perspective, has made me hyper-sensitive to sounds, sights, smells, feelings--on the trail.

5. I'm more forgiving of myself. I don't know why this is--it could be because I'm getting older, but I also guess that it's because I spend so much time with animals, who, as you know, take you as you are that day--were you kind? Did you tend to them? Were you present?--it's rubbed off onto my own views of myself. Which could also be worded--"helped me overcome my fears"--since my greatest fear when I started working with horses again was that my failures defined me. It's been a rare gift to see the day through the eyes of the horse--you are who you are today. Good human beings are the ones who also see people like that--it shows humility and strength to take people where they're at right now and not hold grudges--grudges come from FEAR. (Since I had so much to write about number five, I think it's safe to assume that this is where my own horse/human story would begin.)

6. I have more patience for menial tasks. Think, groom horse, horse rolls in dirt--clean stall, horse messes in stall immediately. It's like dishes and laundry, but stinkier and messier.

These are just some thoughts--I'm sure I've changed in other ways, too.

I'm curious--how have you all changed? If you don't have horses--how have your opinions changed about them? Opinions of Mustangs? Thoughts about a life with horses?

Here are a few shots from the barn--as I sign off from the blog today (remember--every one of your comments is an entry in to the book giveaway):

My sweet horse-husband tolerating Ezzie on the 4-wheeler as he works on repairing the guttering that Beautiful ripped off the barn. (He's "allergic" to cats--though he seems much less allergic to barn cats who earn their living!)



Remember what I said about having more tolerance for menial tasks?

Good job on the guttering! Day 6 and it's still up, though I put my odds on Beautiful for pulling it down again.



Ezzie loves the wheel barrow--she insists on staying in it to the last moment--no matter what's being put in there!



The pond that formed in Beautiful's turnout.

Beautiful eating.



42 and Ezzy--"barn sisters"

Could it be?

Do you remember the story I told about the colt my daughter owned who broke his shoulder and our hearts? Well, I received an email with some unbelievable news--an email I should not, if fate hadn't intervened, have seen.

I'll start from the beginning.

Let me introduce you to Magic. Well, no, actually let me start at the very, very beginning, when Shiloh, my daughter, fell in love with "Jeffrey", aka, Eye Kneed Approval.

Jeffrey was an APHA stallion who had been sent to our barn for training. He was a joy to watch--smooth moving, well-proportioned, colorful, and even though he was intact, he was gentle.



I was homeschooling Shiloh at that time, and we spent good portions of our day at the barn together. She'd finish her work as fast as she could so that we could get out there and ride and clean stalls. We had mutual horsewoman friends who we'd meet for trail rides or we'd ride alone together in the arena or around the grounds. At the time, she was riding Old Red, and I rode Cowboy.

Well, for many reasons Shiloh got bit with the baby bug and wanted to raise a colt--especially a Jeffrey colt. And, it just so happened, he'd put a few on the ground that Spring, Magic being one of them.

Born at Farrell Ranch in St. Maries, Idaho, Magic's mother was a Thoroughbred mare. Shiloh liked that combination. He was long-legged, solid, and he had his father's color with the added feature of some bay characteristics interwoven into his mane and tail.



She'd been saving her money for a horse, and with the money she'd accumulated, she put a down payment on him when he was about a month old. We'd drive her back and forth to see him and make payments, and with a lot of hard work, she was able to purchase him fully by Fall.



From September to January she worked with him, teaching him to lead, tie, load into a trailer, stand for clipping, and, basically, be well-mannered.



Then came Martin Luther King Day, 2005. It had snowed, melted and froze and then snowed again. Not knowing there were patches of ice in the turnout, we put him in it while we cleaned his stall. (It was my idea to put him there). Immediately he went to running and, almost as immediately, he fell. It was very fast. When he stood up, he was on three legs.



We took him to WSU for x-rays and they confirmed he'd broken his shoulder. His prognosis was poor, so we made the difficult decision to have him put down.

But there was a twist, because Shiloh and I were so devastated, we were unable to do the paperwork to finish the process. My husband, wanting to help out, went to do it by himself. While he was there, they made him an offer (one that we didn't know about until later) that if he'd donate Magic to their program, they might do the surgery and rehab. Their specialty was broken bones, especially in race horses, and Magic, being part Thoroughbred, young and well-trained, was a perfect candidate. They'd evaluate him each step of the way, and if his prognosis was good, they'd advance him to each stage of the treatment.

My husband donated him.

When I heard what he'd done, I knew we had to tell Shiloh. I was pretty certain Magic would be perfect for the program, and that his personality would see him through successfully. I didn't want her to be walking around one day, thinking her horse had been put down, and see him being ridden by another owner.

It was hard to do, and I had mixed feelings, lots of them, but I told her. She took it better than I hoped. She'd changed during the whole process, becoming a bit tougher. In fact, she never bonded so deeply with another horse again. She was all practical--lots of, oh, wells, from then on, and, that's what happens. To me, seeing her so resigned to life's disappointments, so young, was heart-breaking.

Well, fast forward four months---WSU is like the Pentagon--top secret, tightly controlled--impossible to get information about Magic--if he was alive or dead or there or gone. Then, another turn of events--tragic in their own right--his sire, beautiful Jeffrey, "tied up" at the ranch and couldn't be helped. In fact, they barely got him into the trailer and hauled to WSU.

He did not survive.

While there, though, his owner went looking for Magic--up and down the stalls and halls of the Vet Center. She didn't care if she wasn't supposed to--she was going to FIND him and bring us back the information.

As you can guess, she was successful. She found out the whole story--his first surgery, rehab in the pool, how all the vet students loved him, etc., and, what's more, his eventual adoption by a Vet student who was graduating that month and taking him back to Oregon.

She found out the name and the phone number of the adoptee. I contacted the woman immediately and offered her Magic's papers. She sent me updates and photos and she transferred his ownership. In so doing, she insured I'd have a permanent record of his whereabouts.

Fast forward again and, for reasons I do not know, after his successful training, he was sold to a very nice woman in Seattle. I contacted her and we became friends, emailing back and forth with pictures every so often.

Here's another twist:

Two months ago I had canceled by email/internet service and switched to Verizon. They told us, at the time, they'd close down our email accounts immediately, but they didn't.

One month went by, two months went by, we still had the old email. Though I'd sent out some heads up about the new address, I'd forgotten to send it to Magic's new owner. I didn't realize my mistake.

Two nights ago, I receive an email to the old address which SHOULD have been cancelled:

Dear Linda,

Hope the new year is finding everyone well. I can't believe that we are already half way through the month of Jan!

Now about Mr Capote, he is doing well. There is a possibility that I might be putting Capote up for sale in the next couple of months. ....

My heart stopped. My husband, who'd already read the email and handed the computer to me, was also shocked. Shiloh, who sat across from me, and to who I read the email immediately, was surprised.

I wrote her back, that though his price, $5,500 (because now he is a fully trained English horse), is more than I can afford, I'd love to help find him a home. I'd also love to have him back in our family, if she can't find a suitable buyer.

I gave her my new email address and she wrote back that she is very thankful to know I will help her.

As fate would have it, I went to get my email this morning and the old account was shut down. Gone! Poof! A door closed. It hit me, if they hadn't made the mistake of leaving it on for two months, I'd never have received her email!!

So, my question is--could it be? Has fate conspired that we will have Magic with us again?

I don't know the answer yet. It could be, like Black Beauty, he goes to many homes before he ever gets to ours--or never, but I can't help hoping. Is it meant to be? We're going to Seattle in February to see him, and I'm very excited, but why? What is the importance of this horse to us at this point?

I don't know--I guess it's like unfinished business--or some restoration of lost hope--a happy ending of sorts. My daughter had so many losses through those years, the loss of her horse just seemed to compound them. I don't know if all my crying during that episode was more for him or her, but I suspect it was more for her.

Will this story have a happy ending? We'll have to wait and see.

Real Life Tales about Learning to Jump--Give Away

A few years ago, during a transition in my life, I returned to college to update my teaching credentials. My marriage was ending, and it appeared I would be going back into the work force. I hadn't been out of it too long, having most always at least worked part-time while playing tag team parenting with my husband. Part of being a teacher, however, is keeping up your credentials--taking classes the state mandates and earning credit beyond your degree. Stupid me, I'd let my certificate lapse.

So, back to school at the age of 33--feeling old (was I crazy??) and dowdy and out-of-place.

I only needed one class, a class on teaching Reading, but I figured since I'd be going anyway, I would also take classes for fun. Which reminds me of when I met with my college adviser in the 80's--eighteen years old and fresh out of high school. I thought when you went to college, no matter what degree you were pursuing, you could just go through the catalog and take whatever you wanted. I took my registration slip and wrote in Shakespeare, Dramatic Literature, Creative Writing: Poetry and Intro to Teaching. Ha ha. My adviser took his pen and crossed out all of the first three and left only the Intro class, adding other intros as well--Intro to Sociology, Principles of Elementary Math, etc. As I returned, a graduated adult, the same rules DID NOT apply. Whew--I filled in my wish-list.

So started my wonderful return to college. It wasn't long before the feeling of not belonging wore off. As an older, wiser student I was one of those who always does her homework and extra, knows all the answers, talks ad nauseum to the teachers--you know, one of those annoying ones. And, Of course, I loved my English classes and decided to keep going after getting the job of editor (a paid position) of our college newspaper.

I bring this up because, during my return to college, I had a wonderful Creative Writing teacher. A beautiful, strong horsewoman named Claire Davis. It appeared to me as a fearful, mother-of-three, divorce'--unsure of myself and what my place would be in the world, or if I could survive there, that she was the epitome of fearlessness, courage, intelligence, and creativity. She was a published writer, beloved teacher, and I was intimidated by her even as I studied everything about her.

Later, we'd become friends and we'd meet for rides along the Snake River at the edge of Hell's Canyon. She was an accomplished jumper by then and her horse, a young Connemara/Arab cross, dappled gray and athletic, was also at the top of his form.

It's hard to imagine that a woman like that had any fears of her own, then or before. How could she?

This is my introduction to a book I'm going to give away in a few weeks, Kiss Tomorrow Hello: Notes From the Midlife Underground by Twenty-Five Women Over Forty.

As we all discussed jumping the other day, I was reminded of her own real-life story, contained in this book, about learning to jump at fifty, falling off her horse during one of those jumps and breaking her hip, and in the journey back to wholeness, the process of moving forward despite falling and overcoming some of her other fears. (Yes, she had fears, too). The bonus is that the book contains many more wonderful stories, as well, by various women writers.

So, this is my winter give-away--as we pass time until our Spring trail rides--a copy of Kiss tomorrow Hello. I'll enter you once for every comment and draw a name on February 10th. I have two extra, so there will be two winners this time.

I should probably give you an update on the horses since I haven't mentioned them in a while. They're muddy. Very, very muddy. This year we've had little snow, but lots of rain, and it has made our turnout a swampy mess. I couldn't even get my wheelbarrow through it these last few days, so the barn is also a mess. Today, in fact, as soon as I post this blog entry, I'm heading out to the swamp to clean stalls and TRY, try, try to groom my horses.

It's warm, so they're feeling GOOD, despite the fact that they're mud-ugly. Do you think they care? Nah. No, they've been running around doing sliding stops and pirouettes and other Lipizzaner-stallion-type tricks.

Hope your barnyards are cleaner and drier than mine, and please take the time to say hello and tell us what's going on at your places, so I can put your name in for this book. You'll love it.

Is the Answer to Life Learning to Jump?

Raising kids can be a lot like gentling horses in that sometimes you get to road-blocks and don't know why. In my last post I referred to life being "hard"--I was referring to parenting. As our kids grow up, our relationships with them change--and that's difficult for me. So, how do you transition from parent to---well, whatever it is you are when your kids are adults? It's more than a friend, but what is it?

A lot of my New Year's resolutions this year revolve around my kids because, for the first time, I see the window of opportunity closing. When they get to be full-fledged, independent adults, will they want to be around me? Will they live close? Will they like me?

I've been a mom for twenty years now, so my instincts are fully kicked in for protecting my kids--but they're getting to the point where they can protect themselves--they're not quite there--but close.

I'm a hoverer--my Living Room window overlooks the pasture where my horses spend their day, my dogs are always at my feet, my cats are locked into their heated house every night before dark--I'm the one who wouldn't release Beautiful into the pasture with the others for a year!

A horse friend wrote to me once that I need to "take the jump". I never really knew exactly what she was referring to, but I think that's what Andrea's doing right now with her new job training horses.

I've been taking mini-jumps--both literally and figuratively. I've started jumping teeny jumps with Cowboy as I work on seat and form, and I've started up piano again, which is sort of a jump.

But it seems like life is pushing me to bigger and bigger jumps--letting go of old roles, finding new meaning, overcoming fears.

My riding friend loved to jump. She'd jump anything and everything--logs, creeks, cracks, burms, you name it. I'd always have my horse walk over them or around them. If he did jump, despite my asking him not to, I didn't like it. She'd go back and forth over things, once was never enough.

Though I'm only working on small jumps, I'm starting to understand her. It's a great feeling to land one, even over six inches. Your horse still has to put the power behind it, and you still have to sit right and keep looking forward, put your hands on their mane and let them go, and they get really excited afterward--it kind of wakes them up.

Hmmmm...is that the same instruction for parenting? Point them in the right direction, grab mane, sit right, and let them go? Maybe I'm onto something with this whole jumping thing--maybe it's the answer to LIFE!

What do you think? Any jumping stories out there? Advice on parenting soon-to-be adults? I'll take all I can get!!

It's A New Year 2010

Life is hard.

I could end this post with that one sentence, and it's probably all I'd have to say.

Life is hard, life is hard, life is hard, hard, hard!

********Deep Breath**********

Pity party over. Time to make my New Year's Resolutions so that I can tackle the "HARD" problems life has delivered at my doorstep and be a stronger, wiser, humbler--survivor.

*******Deep Breath**********

My Ten New Year's Resolutions:

1. Spend as much time as I can--QUALITY TIME--with my kids...while I can, while I have this opportunity.

2. Love them, Love them, Love them.

3. Ride horses a lot with my daughter. Have hers saddled and ready to go (or at least ready to go) when she gets off the bus in the late-afternoon and ride over to the arena. More Spring rides, Summer rides, Fall rides.

4. Spend lots of time with all my family. I have two brothers and their families moving back to the area--I'm excited!!

5. Write--finish a couple of short stories I've been working on for a year--in the next month or two.

6. Continue Piano Lessons and expand my chording repertoire.

7. Explore a small business opportunity and see where it goes.

8. Go to more community theater plays.

9. Volunteer at a Nursing Home and play piano there so I can get over my stage fright!

10. Go out on more walks--I started walking on the treadmill and it usurped my daily walks outside--I miss them--they're good for the mind and soul.

How about everyone else? Any resolutions this year?

Good luck with all that in 2010!!

Here is a pictorial look back on 2009 here at Beautiful Mustang--

January '09





Spring Fever--the herd circles Beautiful--before she was released with them.





Tying lessons.



That's better.



First day with the herd--they're taunting her through their runs.



Official Adoption--Yay!




20 Tons of hay from Waitsburg, WA.



Shiloh and her horse, Cowgirl.



Shiloh and me.



Spring reflection--09.



Spring training.






Working with Beautiful.





Cowboy and me.

A Day In Beautiful's Life

I'm glad I caught this image this morning because it's the one I see every day when I feed. Beautiful has developed this funny habit of rearing up so that she can see over the divider where I'm usually divvying up the hay into the wheel barrow. I'll see her head peek up over, with her mane flying in the air, several times before I get to her.



Here are some pictures of her as I pulled up to the barn and said hello.





This was my day yesterday with Beautiful:

1. Groom her and try to get the mud she somehow found off her coat. Some horses try really hard to stay clean--I have white horses that are still white, for instance. Beautiful, on the other hand, is one of those horses who TRIES to be dirty.

2. Worm her for tapeworms. Beautiful eats and eats, yet doesn't get fat like the others. She eats more and weighs less--what's up with that? Is she a "hard-keeper?" When I went out this morning to rummage through her manure--I couldn't find a sign of a worm! I guess I should just be happy that's she's full of energy and accept the fact that she may always be lean of build--or maybe a late-bloomer.

3. Clean Beautiful's Stall.

Here's Beautiful's day yesterday--

1. After I'm groomed I will go roll in whatever dirty spot I can find.

2. Eat and eat and eat and eat--but keep my girlish figure.

3. Mess up my stall so that I can keep my owner busy.

4. Rear up several times per day to challenge the pony and let everyone know I'm BORED.

5. Rip off gutters (if owner is foolish enough to put them back up), chew my wood door down a few inches, pull out plug in waterer.

6. Play with the barn cats--pretend I'm going to stomp on them and chase them out of my run, then sniff them through the bars.

7. Sleep a little here and there.

She was funny yesterday. When she saw me come with the halter, she ran away and snorted like she was going to make me catch her. Then, she got to the end of her run and started thinking and ran back to me. It's like she remembered, oh yeah, I'm bored and I like visits from her--why am I running away?!? She seemed all too eager to be groomed and petted after that.

Two Steps Forward, Four Steps Back

Christmas countdown at FlashBannerNow.com

I had my riding lesson with Cowboy yesterday at the barn next door. Because of the COLD and ICE, we'd been laid off riding for a couple of weeks. What a mistake!!

Everything was bad. He was sore on his left front where he had the broken P3--probably because of the wet and cold aggravating what may be the beginning of arthritis in that joint.

I don't know which is worse--cold and ice or rainy and cold--but I'm leaning toward rainy and cold as worse. It chills you to the bone, and the MUD! Yuck! I'm actually starting to think snow isn't so bad.

Anyway, back to the lesson, Cowboy was just slightly off, but enough to feel it, and my trainer thought she could see it.

At the beginning of the lesson, when I saddled and rode him over to the arena, he was great--especially for not having been ridden in so long. He was calm and walked out nicely--no jig or spooks--until we got to the property where the arena sits. Then, everything scared him--the box, the cows mooing for what appeared to be a late dinner, the birds that flew out right as he crossed through a puddle/lake. It blew his cool. (I think the cows were the catalyst--they were really worked up).

None of that was a big deal, it was actually fun to work him through it and get him to the arena.

The not-so-fun part of the experience was that he wasn't paying attention during the lesson. Which meant, we had to work on meticulous things--elementary, primary, boring stuff--all lesson. It was like starting again.

Moral of the story: DON'T TAKE TIME OFF.

Let's see, what else has happened in horseville? Beautiful discovered a new trick--waiting until the automatic waterer drains and then pulling the plug out with her teeth. Yep. And, another, sticking her head through the bars and pulling the gutters off the barn. Uh huh. Too smart for her own good--prognosis--easily bored and needs a full-time job.

Other than that, same ole, same ole--all is well, muddy and wet and cold, but well. I'm starting a new blog about my piano lessons because with things slowing down through winter in the horse world and Beautiful doing so well, more of my attention is being directed at piano mastery--a slow process, I'm here to tell you. Things I have to work on: 1.) Stage fright, 2.) Stage fright, 3.) Stage fright, 4.) Everything else.

Hope all is well in your worlds and you're getting time to ride--come rain and mud or snow and ice!

Happy Trails and Merry Christmas, everyone!

Traditions: December Moon Over a Night Barn

I love barns at night. The soft light emanating in the darkness. You just know the animals are in there, warm, well-fed, secure.

Especially during the Christmas season, barns take on added meaning. I was playing Christmas songs on the piano last night and I was struck by this line in What Child is This?, my favorite of all the Christmas songs:

Why lies he in such mean estate, where ox and ass are feeding?



I remember posting a picture of this exact same moon last Fall. As a matter of fact, I used it as part of the banner for this blog. (Above) And there it was again last night. I called it the December Moon. It's born of frost and sunshine.



My farrier came out yesterday. We both agreed we'd love winter if every day was like yesterday. Beautiful moon. Sunshine. Cold.



And then, this morning--frost on the ground and Beautiful waiting in her new/old enclosure for breakfast. We had our first official "lesson" (because every day, no matter what you do, you are giving them lessons) in months yesterday--going over the basics again of disengaging front and hind-quarters. At first she was a little confused when I approached her from the side--as if I was Cowgirl, the alpha mare, getting ready to bite her. I saw it in her eyes, so I stopped and reassured her--it's me--I'm fair--I'm predictable--I don't bite.

I rubbed her neck a little bit and then asked for her step. She disengaged and crossed over nicely, like I wanted. I took the one step and reassured her again. She licked her lips and relaxed and the rest of the lesson was just wonderful. Partnership--no fear. She tucked her head and backed up with the slightest pressure on the nose, she moved fluidly each time I asked it of her. Now that is one filly who is happy to be with humans again.



I'm glad I introduced her to the herd for the summer, but in all honesty, she didn't seem to really blend well with them. She was happy to get away from them, and they were thrilled to get Cowboy back.

The farrier visit was beyond great. If there was a mark higher than A+, she'd get it. She picks up her feet now as she sees him approach them. She does it for me, as well. I think if she could pick out her own feet, she'd do it. After he was done she followed him around wanting to be in his back pocket. I guess all humans are looking pretty good to her right now.

Here's Mount Spokane this morning as I went out to feed them, but where is the moon?



Here it is, in the West.



See this paper angel on the tree? My kids and I put it up last weekend. I love putting up the tree. We have an artificial one because I grew up with an artificial. The tree becomes its own tradition, just like the ornaments.

This angel was something I purchased a long time ago when I was teaching. I believe my oldest son was only a year old at the time. One of the teachers brought them into the lounge and sold them. I bought this one and it became our tree angel. Each year the kids take turns putting it on.

She looks pretty raggedy at this point, I had to hem her dress with tape, but she keeps coming out each year to do her job.



And the foyer is transformed yet again--to Christmas.



What family traditions do you have? Favorite Christmas songs? CDs? Ornaments? Trees? Food? I'll be the first to answer this question in comments. We have lots and lots of traditions and I love every one of them.

Traditions are like that December Moon, something that returns, something that, when everything falls down around you and your life is in chaos, are there to guide you to safety.