An Anniversary Week

Last week I contacted my horse starting trainer about the things Tweed and I are experiencing on the trail and asked her opinion about how she deals with it. 

Her first answer went straight to respect. The head-tossing is him getting bigger than me to escape the work. But she agreed that he needs to be collected, just like we do in the arena, and encouraged to use his hind end. So, what I’m asking is correct. It’s just hard. 

Later that day, she had time to reflect and write more, and she said that it’s hard work for them going up and down hills and they often want to rush it or get out of it. She sees it a lot. She said that is why she spends so much time on preparing them, getting them fit and using their bodies correctly. One thing she does is asking them to back up hills. (That’s something I tried with success two weeks ago).

Exposure (lots of trail time), Fitness (learning to use his body and being in shape), and Respect (which is best worked out in safe spaces beforehand). 

There is one thing I left out of my 3-prong approach, and that is TIME and consistency. As a full-time babysitter, I haven’t had that, but going forward I have to figure out a way to make more time and be more consistent. I think it’s possible with the help of the other set of grandparents, and coincidentally, they are asking for more opportunities to help. 

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Speaking of time, it was my husband’s and my anniversary yesterday, so we went on an adventure to the San Juan Islands. 

We had a lot of fun island hopping and discovering fun things we’d never seen before. 

At our last romantic dinner, Sunday night, we talked about our life together so far, all the many things we’ve seen and done, our children and grandchildren, and what we want our life to look like going forward into this last chapter. 

We used to see nothing but infinite possibilities, but now we see our changing roles and the realities of aging. In some areas, we need to shrink our lives and prepare for those changes, and in other areas, we need to still expand. 

We decided to go somewhere new for every anniversary going forward. Close, far, doesn’t matter—just experience something new and delight in the adventure together, like we did last weekend and the day we got married, license in hand, no plan. 

All these years later, he is still the person I love getting lost (and found) with. Home, for me, is wherever he is.