First Ride Since Bailing Off & a New Understanding of What I Need

"Good judgement comes from experience.

Experience comes from bad Judgement.

And sometimes that bad judgement can be pretty horrific."

Val Geissler, Unbranded

A major down-side to getting bucked off so aggressively, was that I was unable to ride for fifteen days.  Of course, I'm very lucky it's not more, but still, it slowed me down and limited me to groundwork.  It would have been better for my confidence to have gotten right back on, but that wasn't possible.

To recap: the body bruising was wide-spread, but most of the pain was in the ribs & liver.  I was on Motrin day and night.  When the ribs started to feel a little better, I stopped the Motrin, and that's when I felt the hip and knee pain.  A few days ago, the knee pain all but disappeared, but the hip pain remains.  Kind of reminds me of last winter when I fell on ice.

Oh, and I almost forgot, while I was on vacation with my kids, I was stung by a hornet on my good arm--and had a bad allergic reaction with lots of swelling.  Five days later, it's still swollen and itchy!  Arghhhhh!

But anyway, all that aside, today was my day to get back on a horse, and I was surprised to find some real self-doubt lingering around.

I chose Cowboy, rather than Leah, since I'm still on the mend, and don't want to get myself into a situation I'm physically unprepared to handle.  But even with Cowboy, the doubts lingered, so I started going down a list of things, in my mind, that might be causing the fear:

Is it a BALANCE issue?  I reminded myself that I have good balance and can ride my horse bareback at every gait.  I can also go from a standing position to a legs crossed sitting position, and up again--without holding onto anything. (I read somewhere that that's a good test of longevity.)

Skill?  I have enough balance and skill, or a better word, experience, to have survived spinning, bucking, and bucking and running--bucking that was so hard, mind you, that my tailbone is still quite sore.  But I was able to navigate all that to the rail, pull her head around, swing myself off with my right arm and land on my feet. (pat self on back again.)

Judgement?  Ah, this is where I couldn't quite assuage myself.  As I was leading Cowboy to the mounting block, I thought back at all the many, many, many times I mounted a horse who was giving me signs that it needed something more--but I mounted anyway and took my chances in saddle.  It always worked out--until the day it didn't.

But with Beautiful Girl, I had been wary of that possibility, and I had hired my trainer to be beside me--to be that extra pair of eyes.

Do you think I'm good to mount?  I'd asked her.

But Rebecca wasn't there that day.  And, I wondered what she would have said if she had been there.

I know the answer.  She would have told me no.  No, Beautiful Girl was not in a frame of mind to go to the next step.

I need to work on that judgement part of my life.  It's almost like turning 50-something has dulled it.  Like it's made me more accident prone.  Why?  What has changed that I'm rushing so head-long out of cars, onto horses, around hornets?  Is it just bad luck?  Or, is it a mind too busy multi-tasking and not "present" enough?  Mindful?

I guess from all these questions, I can already see the answer.  My life is demanding I be more present.

So, I swung my leg over Cowboy and off we went bareback--walk, trotting, practicing our turns with no reins.  My tailbone hurt as I tilted my hips back for the stop, but it was a reminder that my life is fragile.  Its preservation demands my attention--not just with horses---but in ALL things.

I have some changes to make.

Trail Rides, And What I've Learned

There comes a time, you have to put your preparation to work for you, and that time has come for Leah and me.  I haven't been writing much because we've been on the trail a lot.  Instead of practice bridges, we have real bridges.  Instead of practice polls, we have real logs to cross.  Instead of puddles, we have rivers, creeks, and lakes.

We've been exposed to new horses, new trails, and new challenges. Each ride has been a learning experience.  On this one, we practiced bridges, and things that go over bridges--like runners, walkers, and fast bikes.

The river is high, so we practiced wading out into it.  With caution!  A couple weeks after this picture was taken I had a friend who got a horse stuck in the same area.  She said it was like quick sand.

I inspected it pretty well as we waded into it, and I didn't expect her to stand in it because I could see her feet sinking when we stood still too long.

We were in and out.

The balsamroot was abundant on that trip.  Now, there are even more wildflowers, so I will start packing a plant and flower guide in my saddle bags.  The one I use is, "Plants of the Southern Interior British Columbia and the Inland Northwest" by Parish, Couple, Lloyd.

Mother's Day brought a mother/daughter/son-in-law/husband ride.  Be still my heart!!  

On this ride I learned to take my time and help everyone get their fresh horses thinking before we took off.  I planned for a long, long ride because two of the horses hadn't been on the trail yet this year.  We started at the round pen and progressed from there.  It made for a wonderful ride!

I also learned that my daughter makes the best trail partner and the best friend.

And my husband isn't shabby either!!!  I love this man.

The cowboy boot was the theme of my Mother's Day.  This one was from my daughter.

And this one, for the outside, was from my husband.  They didn't coordinate.

Lots of rides with friends.  We're just taking it easy and getting our horses in shape.  Different day, same trail, but this particular route is a really good one for exposing horses to many kinds of stimulus-dogs, people, bikes, water, trees, cliffs, logs, etc.

It's always nice to practice tying to the tree afterward while the girls have lunch.

This was the most recent ride from Wednesday.  It was wet and buggy.  What I learned is that I need to pack a lightweight, trail fly mask, fly spray, OFF (for me), and a roll-on fly spray for my horse's face.  My trail partner had taken a roll-on deodorant bottle and filled it with fly spray.  

Here is what I pack in my saddle bags:

phone (often on my hip)

knife

flower/plant book

fly spray

Off

Sunblock

fly mask

binoculars

map

lightweight gloves

water

We had a tough creek crossing on this ride, but I learned it's okay to jump off and get your boots wet!  I'm trying to avoid a fight on the trail.  And by that, I mean I'm trying to get better at figuring out when Leah's no means NO.  I don't want her to feel like she has to notch it up a peg to get her point across.  She looked as if she was going to flip around and run, so I dismounted and played with her in the creek for a while. She has no problem doing anything if she sees me doing it first.  Silly girl.

It has been raining a lot, but this is my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

No pictures, but I have been taking lessons with Bee.  One was at the park--worked her, then rode  her in the roundpen, then drove her over the trail obstacle course.  The second was here at home, where we did pretty much the same.

Also, I've decided NOT to breed Cowgirl.  I just don't feel like taking the risk with her, and I don't feel qualified.  The next horse I get is going to be, most likely, my last, and I prefer to meet it on the ground, rather than taking a chance and rolling the dice.

I hate leaving Cowboy behind, but his head shaking is at its worst in spring, so I've been letting him rest a bit.  I do hope to ride him more as spring progresses and he gets better.  That's looking to be real soon.

Oh, and at DAY 93, I had reached my half way point to my goal.  That is good news for me because we aren't half way through the year yet!  We have a month and almost a half left--which means I should be ahead of schedule.  Woot!  Woot!

I hope you're all doing well and getting in lots of time with your herd!  Congratulations to Shirley on her new little Tumbleweed!

If I Can Do It, You Can Do It!

I'm just bumbling along, doing my best with what I know.  For example: riding bareback.  It has become my favorite way of riding.  You don't have to haul a saddle.  You stay warm.  Win. Win.  And, if I can do it--a 50 year old woman, YOU can do it!  (By that I mean those who are wanting to ride bareback already and don't have physical conditions that make this more dangerous.)

Cowboy.

Leah.

Here is a 15 second clip of what it looks like to lope Cowboy bareback.



My tips for riding bareback:

Practice on a rock solid horse.

Grip with your thighs.

Move with your horse.

Don't steady yourself with the reins.

Keep your head up and look where you're riding!! (More important than ever)

Loping is easier than trotting.

*****

Driving your horse in a circle.

For years, I didn't want to drive my horses because it looked so complicated watching the trainers do it.  I'd help out here and there, but I never trusted myself to take the reins.  That all changed when my trainer, Rebecca, taught me to drive a horse in halter.  The fear I had, that I'd create a bad accident, vanished, and that made ALL the difference.

So, say it with me....

If I can do it, YOU can do it!

Here is some video of me driving Bee today.  SPOILER: She was not at her best--which is GREAT, because you get to see the the good, bad and ugly of driving.  And, that's OKAY.

The end of Part 1 was a bit dicey.  Thankfully, we ALWAYS start in halter! You'll have to watch Part 2 if you want to see how we resolved it. (Starts out a bit windy and loud, but gets better a couple minutes into it.  I'll have to make another tape when the weather is calmer. But that's all part of getting out there every day!)



Where'd she go?  Find out in Part 2.

A Week In Snow

The really deep snow, the really slick ice, all coincided with a really sore tailbone.  You could say the fates conspired against me, and my training program, last week.  In fact, as I sat here this morning, I had a hard time remembering what I'd done this week, so I consulted my phone for photos.

Monday, January 8, 2018: Worked Leah and Bee, cleaned the barn, wrote a blog post.

Tuesday, January 9, 2018: Sore tailbone, lots of ice outside, stayed in and cleaned the house, then went to work.

Wednesday, January 10, 2018: Had coffee with my cowgirl friends, then went to work.

Thursday, January 11, 2018: Was supposed to fly out to Omaha, but a storm here, and a storm there, caused us to cancel our flight and stay put, to take care of the horses.  We ended up getting over 6" of snow that day, and we went no where.

Friday, January 12, 2018: The temps started to warm up, and melt everything, and we started digging out of the snow.

(Pictures of the day it started snowing)

Friday afternoon, we went shopping and ended up buying a Nespresso machine.  It makes much richer coffee than Keurig.  The pods are a bit spendy, but the quality of java makes it worth it.

Friday night, my husband and I walked our property in the dark--through the snow--with the dogs at our heels.  The snow makes it bright enough to navigate easily.  After our walk, we had a date in my Cowgirl Cave--scotch, cigars, and the Echo Dot playing a steady stream of Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash.

"Save your love through loneliness, save your love through sorrow. I gave you my loneliness, give me your tomorrow."

Saturday, January 13, 2018--Colt Starting Clinic with Beautiful Girl.

(Bee getting ready to walk over with all the gear.  I have her wear the bridle at all times, to get her used to it. She's really not as thin as she looks in this photo.)

Bee got to stand around a lot while we watched the others work in the round pen.  The snow was coming off the roof, in a loud fashion, and it caused her to pull back several times, but she adjusted.  It was good for her.

What I learned at the clinic was really fine-tuning what I already know:

*When round penning, and she's nervous and not listening, find ways to get her to tune into me--snapping my fingers, waving a hand, lots of transition--whatever works.

*I already do a lot of driving from behind Bee, but we worked on driving her in the circle.  It was good for her because the outside line was on her butt and legs a lot--causing her to kick out and buck a little bit until she got used to it.  It was good desensitizing.  Another participant at the clinic didn't feel comfortable driving her own horse, so I asked if she wanted to practice with Bee.  She did, and they did great together.

Sunday, January 14, 2018:  Ride Cowboy

I remember, not long ago, when I was riding three horses a day.  My tailbone injury, and the ice, has slowed me down.  But I was feeling well enough Sunday to ride Cowboy bareback.

I took it easy and stopped a lot to give him neck massages.  When we were done, I slipped off and gave him a nose to tail T-touch session.  He melted and followed me all over, with his head on my hands, as I tried to gather everything up and leave.  It was so sweet, I couldn't leave him.  So, I sat on my overturned trough and just spent the  most wonderful time being with him.  He was like a puppy.

I was thinking about it last night, as I was trying to fall asleep (a problem I have--thinking too much at bedtime)--I was trying to find a way to describe how my love for Cowboy feels.  First, he has been with me for almost 30% of my life!  That is a lot of wrapping around one another.  And, my journey with him has been so bumpy--times I thought I would lose him, times he surprised me and recovered, scary situations we got ourselves into--fights, makeups, growing old together, sharing pain together.  When I think of love for him, I think of these words:

joy, fragility, hope, sorrow, pride, comfort, awe, vulnerability, heart-bumps, heaven, laughter, miracles, friendship, gratitude.

That was my week in snow, and today the sun is shining super bright--I have the day off--and I'm heading to the barn.  Here's another word--GLORIOUS!

Hope and Possibilities

Yesterday, as I was walking Bee to the barn next door, Cowboy saw us leaving and came running , full out, across the East Pasture to me. He was prancing around and trying to rush through the gate.  He'd just had breakfast, and I didn't have anything he would want.  Not to mention, going to the barn next door always scares him.

Why was he running to me? Why this need to be with me?

I thought, What is this all about?  Is it some harbinger from above? Some warning to be careful with Bee today?  That wasn't too much of a stretch, since I was alone at the barn, should anything happen, and a friend of a friends is in a coma right now from a brain bleed after a horse accident.

After an hour working Bee, where I was very cautious and all went most excellent, I started to walk back home.  While I was still on the neighbor's property, but almost to the gate, Cowboy, who was grazing at the end of the pasture, saw me and again came running, full bore, to the gate!

He was prancing, even dancing, by my side, like I'd been gone for 3 days, he was starving, and I was bringing him food.  Cowboy, I said, what is it with you.  You're acting so weird.  As I lead Bee, he walked with me, through the east pasture, through the turn out, all the way to the gate in front of my tack room.

Bee had  her ears back, as if she was annoyed, but not dangerously so.  She seemed to be saying, Hey, get out of here, bud, this is my time.

I praised her for not kicking out at him.

I unsaddled her as fast as I could, as Cowboy watched us with his head hung over the rail of the fence. Then, I walked back into the turnout, switched Bee for Cowboy, took him over to the overturned trough, stood on the precarious, slick trough asking Cowboy to come closer and closer so that I could swing my leg over his bare back without falling.

He did.

Inch by inch.

I jumped on and we went off on our daily ride through the pastures: walking, trotting, loping.

It was an amazing day with Cowboy, and I couldn't get it out of my heart or mind.  I was tossing and turning in bed last night, and it came to me--how I always say, I think in heaven the horses we loved will come running to greet us.

It’s true.

******

You can imagine, living in "heaven," with a horse like Cowboy calling my name, how difficult it is for me to go to work nowadays.  It's getting harder and harder and harder.  My spirit is home with my horses.  An hour away from them feels like 10 hours.  It's driving me crazy.

My husband has noticed it because we work together--which, of course, is the upside of my work.  He and I have been talking a lot about how to fix it, and we think we have a solution.

I won't know for a few weeks, but we may have found a way to work from home together.

******

The other thing that kept me up last night was wondering if that crazy behavior of Cowboy's was some final goodbye.  Is he going to colic tonight?  Did he have some sense it would be our last together?  (I tend to overthink everything).

I ran out to the barn this morning to see Cowboy, the orphan, the outcast, my heart-horse, before work.  He was healthy and happy.

Bee came to see me, too.

Leah did her best imitation of an ostrich sticking its head in the sand, but for her it was the round bale.

Now, I'm off to work.