Sunday, March 20, 2022

Plowing Through

The last month has been tough, losing my dad, and there's a definite feeling of wanting to load up the car, hit the road, and leave my troubles all behind me, but that's tough to do with a herd of horses and dogs.

So, I stay home, we stay home, and try to keep busy. We've seen three plays, a symphony performance, a movie (in the theater), and been on several hikes. 

The weather is getting better, and the horses are feisty.

Tumbleweed is going to training in April, which means I need to get him ready, and the weather is starting to warm up for it. He has changed a lot this year, and seems to be more sure-footed and aware of his body. I think that's because he has largely stopped growing and is just filling out now. It will be fun to see what he learns this year. He's coming four in May.

Here he is running steam off before our session. We did at liberty work over the bridge and poles, then some basic disengagement, circles on the line, and a little MM bodywork. Just basic stuff, getting back in the groove.

It seems that ever since the funeral, five days ago, I've been a bit depressed--if I stop long enough to think about it.  I prefer to keep going. But life isn't like that. Eventually, you have to stop running and face the music grief. You'd think you'd not have as much grief when the loss is "in order"--meaning, parent before child, and parent in older age, but there's never a good time to let go of someone you love. Let go of the physical, that is--what we know most in this life--the physical body. The spiritual is entirely another thing, and I have received a few amazing signs since my dad's passing. It makes me really happy to think of them.

Friday, March 4, 2022

On My Father Passing

I have gone from being a person with a father, two days ago, to a person envious of that person. 

I don't have a lot to say about it yet, but it sure felt like the worst, and longest, week of my life. It had been the thing I had dreaded for so long, and began to think would never happen. He was definitely a fighter, and a survivor. But he wasn't invincible. He was a mere human. Like me.

Now, I'm back home, and have some time to heal before his funeral.

I'm blessed to have a few humans and creatures to help me do just that.

(My dad, with my grandson, December 7, 2021. He was able to meet him three times before he passed. They share a birth month, and an astrological sign, Libra.)