Wednesday, October 19, 2016

The Crystal Ball & the Fly On the Wall

There are two common sayings that I deeply dislike: "I wish I had a crystal ball," and "I wish I could be a fly on the wall."  I wouldn't want either.

If someone had accurately shown me my future twenty years ago, I would have had a heart attack and died right on the spot. I don't think I'd have had the courage to have lived my future, knowing it all at once and out of context.

As for the fly on the wall, (and unrelated to this except that it's another of those colloquialisms I disagree with) it goes without saying, people say bad things about me--you--everyone--deserved or not.  As my mom always said, semi-quoting Eleanor Roosevelt--"Small minds talk about people, big minds talk about ideas."   Do I want to hear what small minds say?  Do I want some emissary to bring me back trash talk from small minds--ie. gossip?

Uh, no.

Sharing the art work and horse stories, randomly chosen from Way of the Horse: Equine Archetypes for Self-Discovery — A Book of Exploration and 40 Cards, I want to put out a disclaimer--there is no divination involved in the process--no prediction of your future--nothing out of the normal sphere of emotional interpretation merged with art and story--like a horse, art, story Rorschach test--minus the test.  If this helps you open new windows of insight into your life, like it did me, that's great.  If not, enjoy the art.

Andrea, this is your card--The Herd.  (Authentic community, Consensual Leadership, & Balancing Individual and Group Needs)

The Gift: "When we trade leadership roles according to who's calmest, clearest, and most creative in a given situation, the entire community benefits."

The Challenge: "Consensual leadership is not a job description, it's an improvisation. To be confident in your own dreams and talents while remaining responsive to the needs and gifts of others you must check your ego at the gate."

Leadership in a herd changes, depending on the circumstances-the introduction of new member, an escape out onto a new trail--whoever is calmest in each situation takes the lead.  Chickens have pecking order, but horses have consensual leadership, and it's fluid.

"Humans seeking an absolute definition of leadership, and a concrete technique or job description to go with it, don't like this concept much, but it's really not hard to fathom. ...If you propose to create an authentic community where people's true feelings talents, dreams, and motivations are acknowledged, you have to head in this general direction.  No  leader knows everything."
Andrea, this reminded me of the training video I watched and shared a few days ago with Pat Parelli.  The video was about letting your horse make some decisions and become a partner--trusting in your riding skills and your horse's judgement, and find ways to meet both of your needs.  I plan to use some of this with Leah to help me "get off her face" and quiet my "demands."  The demands--assertive leadership--create fights and evasions.

4 Shoes, here is your card: PROMISE (Auspicious Beginnings, Conscious Birth, Nourishing New Life)

There is a lot written about all of these cards, and I'm only taking little snippets from each.  This one has a lot that is really powerful for me to read, so I'll try to do my best sharing it.

The equine birth is a miracle.  The foal is born and "within hours of entering this world, he not only can identify his mother, he runs alongside her, nursing at will..." 

The mare's experience is also miraculous, "Fetuses adapt to the dimensions of their mother's womb. The world of artificial insemination has shown that ponies implanted with eggs from draft-horse-sized parents can give birth to pony-sized foals.  These newborns, however, continue to grow, eventually fulfilling their genetic potential, towering over their surrogate mothers."  (I did not know this!)

But the card is mostly about the "mother role".
The mare shows us a balanced approach to motherhood.  "Exemplifying what Marion Woodman calls 'the conscious mother,' she's attentive to the needs of her child without identifying with the role of mother. She doesn't impose her own image of perfection, her own egotistical demands, or her unrealized ambitions on him."
Human mothers can be much more conditional in their love, and come off as disapproving and very controlling, putting and keeping their children in a submissive role.  Later in life, the child wears "invisible chains. Those chains create stoic, exacting parents whose behavior isn't always related to physical trauma but to hearts frozen by conformity, practicality, and the external trappings of success. To transform this pattern, we must learn how to mother ourselves in a new way. And we must give birth to a deeper sense of self."

This was a good card for me to read, for many reasons--as a child and as a mother myself.

Grey Horse Matters, your card is Field of Dreams: Unexpressed Vitality, Heart's Desire, Self-Care Supporting Innovation.

The Gift:

"No matter how disconnected you feel from the needs of your own soul, this image reminds you that the restless spirit inside, the one that sometimes feels dominated and spurred on by the demands of society and survival, that dark horse racing through your dreams, is not so much running away from responsibility as galloping toward the fulfillment of your deepest heart's desire."

This card is all about following that dark horse of inspiration and creativity in life and your work with horses.

"Self-care is the key. Many educational, societal, and parental dictates are designed to turn people into workhorses. Resist the urge to run yourself into the ground.  Taking time to rest, eat well, enjoy life nourishes creativity, allowing you to move from a surviving to a thriving orientation."

This HAS to be the funnest card in the deck!   It talks about your desire to connect with a horse, possibly a new horse, in a deep, unique, and creative way.  And, this new relationship will lead to new and unique insights..  "You may be craving the kind of relationship that first drew you to the barn, that magical connection between horse and human all too often compromised by the business of training..."

If anyone else would like to see a card--I'll continue.  Just let me know in the comments.


  1. Love it! Thanks! It ties in with some thoughts I was having today, and gives me even more to think about. I'm going to come back and read it again in the morning & watch the video too.

  2. Love it! Thanks! It ties in with some thoughts I was having today, and gives me even more to think about. I'm going to come back and read it again in the morning & watch the video too.

  3. Thanks Linda! I've got to say I'm kind of surprised at how accurate this card is. It seems that I'm always bogged down with responsibilities that involve taking care of others and I never seem to have time for myself and what I want to do. I'd like to work with the horses more and form a better relationship with Blue. I haven't ruled out looking for another horse to work with either. Thanks again.

  4. Oh, how fun! Me too please? :) I loved GH's card, speaks to me too.

    I watched that video, it was actually very good stuff. The kid's kind of a dud, slow to react and all, but that stuff is always a lot harder to do, than it is to watch. Ha!!


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