Thursday, January 21, 2016

Some Things Survive

Beautiful Mustang
Beaty’s Butte, Oregon 2007
Some things survive
Despite capture,
Despite fear.
Like memory,

How it felt
To take those first
Feeble, free steps,
Then stretch your neck
Toward breasts,
And the reward
Of warm milk.

The world was starving,
But some things survived,
Like the smell of sage
When your bodies
Lay down at night
And crushed the stems.
You dreamt of flight,
On strong legs;
You dreamt of rest,
Under the mahogany’s shade.

Some things survived,
Like the smell
Of your dam’s fur in rain,
The smell of her sweat.

The sound of her separation
survived, too,
The calling back and forth
From pen to pen,
Your first real lesson
On what it’s like
To be loved.

That way.

In the way
Of the terrible missing.

Some things survive,
Despite capture,
Despite fear.
Like memory.

For Christmas I got a Big Baby Taylor guitar.  I've played the piano and flute since I was a little girl, but I've always wanted to learn the guitar--it has such a beautiful sound...and it's mobile.

I've learned my first few chords--A, E, Em, and C, and I practice strumming them in 4/4 time.  Hey, it's music!  I like.

(However, the tips of my fingers are numb and goodbye fingernails...or what was left of them.)

As I was playing today, I realized that it was bringing something different out in me--something different than the piano...or the flute brought out.  It taps into a different place and brings something forward.

Then I thought, so do the horses.  Cowboy and Leah and Beautiful Girl, they each bring out something different in me...because they're different.  What they bring to the front is their own unique story and personality...and it somehow mixes with mine...and a different kind of music is made...a spiritual kind of music.

A new part of me awakens.

Then I thought, that's the miracle of the growth mindset that I've been reading about.  Each new thing we do wakes up some dormant part of our brain...our hearts...our spirits.

It's inexhaustible.

We have the ability to love many different souls, the ability to play many different instruments; we have an infinite amount of stories to tell, poems to write, and songs to compose on this limitless journey.

I've been worrying about how I'm going to find time to accomplish all my goals with my horses in my >>limited<< amount of time.

I came up with a plan:

Train Beautiful Girl and Leah with the help of my trainers and my husband...and Cowboy.  After my husband went to Leah's lesson and watched us, he said he'd like to ride her.  At first I was like, No, this is MY horse now, but in reality, I can't do it all.  I'm hoping they'll take a few lessons together, and that will free up some of my time to work with Beautiful, who is more of a one person type horse.  I can also get in some time with Cowboy by using him to pony them around.

I, I will survive, Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive.  I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give, and I'll survive. I will survive, 

Hey Hey.

(Gloria Gaynor)


  1. " they each bring out something different in me...because they're different. "

    Boy, ain't that the truth. Each of our horses is definitely their own "person".


    1. Yes, they are. No two are alike. Oh, how easy training would be if they were all alike...and how boring.

  2. Oh, this was good. Resonated deeply within me. I LOVE that each horse or whatever it is, has that amazing ability to awaken fresh passion in us all. If we'll let them. Fantastic that you got a guitar! I play piano, but haven't played hardly at all in many years now, but I've always wanted to play guitar! Like you said, it's mobile. And it's such a personal instrument. I need a narrow-necked guitar, but would really like to take some lessons too. This post feels inspirational to me, I need to get motivated to feed my spirit more often. Kind of hard because there always seems to be so little time...

    1. Get a guitar! You'll love it. ;)

    2. And you don't need lessons. You Tube has everything you need.

  3. Love your song/poem! I used to have a guitar but didn't really get good at it, no time for lessons when the kids were little. My son is a very accomplished player but since he's married with little ones doesn't play so much now. The band broke up years ago. Keep playing and writing!

    I'm always amazed by people who think horses are livestock and have no personalities. I could give them an earful! Over the years I've never met a horse with the same personality as another. They are all different and that's what makes them so special.

    1. I'm enjoying my guitar so much, I'm wondering why I didn't do this before. You should pick it up again. You Tube is an excellent resource and I also have an online music lesson course. It makes it so easy. I can play the F Major scale now, thanks to you tube.

      Yes, horses are all unique. I asked a cowgirl once if cows are all unique and she said absolutely. unique as each horse. I had to stretch my brain around it since I haven't raised cows.


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