Saturday, October 13, 2012
I don't believe anything happens unless for a reason, and so I wonder for what reason Jasmine came into my life. Those of you who follow the blog know that Jasmine was our little pony whose journey is largely unknown--having been picked up from auction and then passing through a few hands to mine. All of us tried to connect with her, but she remained aloof.
A couple years ago I realized she had Cushings, but it didn't seem to affect her too much. It was about that time I kind of gave up "training" her and allowed her to have free roam of our property. Looking back, that was the best decision I could have ever made...for her and me.
The thing about Jasmine is that she had the sweetest spirit--she wouldn't harm a fly. She had a heart for children. But she just didn't enjoy grown-up people. I will never know why, but I suspect a tumor. Last winter when I was doing TTouch with her, it really did seem to give her relief--from what? My guess is that there was something going on in there physically.
Last spring, just a month or so after these pictures were taken from the sunroom--I'd often see her in the backyard from the sunroom windows which was a real pleasure for me--Jasmine started to go downhill a bit--eating less and drinking more and more and more. Still though, she was roaming around quite happily--always a feisty little pony.
But a few days ago there was a drastic turn. She went off food and water and completely lost her sight. I moved her into a stall and tried to feed her by hand and help her navigate, but it only got worse.
Today we put her down...ourselves. I haltered her, petted her, and fed her grain from my hands, and we did it--my husband and I. It was immediate and it was completely peaceful. She wasn't stressed at all.
We'd never done anything like it before--neither one of us--(he was the one who actualy did). We'd studied and concluded that for some situations and some horses, it would be the absolute best thing--humane and respectful, we just didn't know if we actually could. We're not hunters, so it's not something we do or are used to doing. To the end there was the temptation to pass it off to the vet, but Jasmine isn't like other horses--she doesn't trust other people...she trusts us.
Our belief with our animals is always make decisions about quality of life and be there to the end for them. Hold them. Talk to them. Feed them. And let the last thing they know here on earth be that they are loved. She knew that today, and that gives me some peace.
I don't want to sound corny, but I guess I am--so here goes. I believe we'll meet on the other side. She won't be afflicted by whatever was afflicting her. She will no longer be scared and stand-offish. I will no longer be the ignorant human I am today. We will just be two spirits, at peace and able to enjoy each other. I look forward to that.
Goodbye, sweet little Jasmine.